My mom is now in assisted living she had Alzheimer’s. When she goes about her day with the other people there she does very well. However when she gets back to her room after dinner she starts calling me especially asking where her clothes are why she can’t come home. It’s the same when I visit. If I don’t get her out of her room she becomes abusive to me yelling at me that she is going to get a cab and leave or says she is going to kill herself. I know after I leave she doesn’t remember saying those things but it still hurts. Any suggestions ?
I also don't know what to tell you to change your own reaction. Your mother's behavior is driven by her dementia. It isn't personal against you. Of course you know that in your head. But, gosh, it still hurts to have your mother yelling abuse at you! Get her out of her room immediately when you visit. If she continues her rant say, "It looks like you are pretty upset today, Mom. I'll leave now and see you on Friday. I hope you are feeling better then." This is not to "teach" your mother to behave (I doubt that is possible) but it is to protect yourself, which is a valid reason to do it.