How do I help a neighbor who is struggling with breaks in reality?
While we were in another state, my next door 93 year-old neighbor, who lives alone, claimed that she saw a man repeatedly enter our house through the patio doors. She even said that his car was parked outside our house at the moment we were talking on the phone & earlier that day she had passed him on as he was walking up to our house.
I called the police & requested that they do a house check. Long story short, none of it happened. The man she's referring to is another neighbor who owned the car & though he had walked by her earlier in the day, he is now afraid to even approach & introduce himself. He was almost arrested by the police! Even after the police talked with her & let her know that he never had entered our house, she is adament that he was repeatedly entering our house.
My neighbor has an adult daughter living about 7 hours away in the same state, who has shown no interest in taking care of her mother. When my neighbor has had surgeries in the past, she has had to rely on another neighbor to take her to the hospital, rehab, get her house ready for her return, pick up meds, talk with doctors, & check on her daily as the daughter shows no interest in participating in her care. When this neighbor has explained to the daughter her mother's health care needs & that she needs to be there for her, the daughter basically minimizes anything that is said, though she is financially able to have her mother live with her or visit her more often. In the situation I described above, this neighbor had to get involved calling me, identifying to the police that the man with the SUV was another neighbor, & gently telling my next door neighbor that she had not seen what she thought she saw.
My dilemma: what do I do with this? I am concerned about my neighbor's mental state & am guessing that she is experiencing dementia. The neighbor who is reluctantly helping her says not to call the daughter as she will gaslight me as she's gaslighted him in the past & I should just save myself the trouble.
Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Any way that you two neighbors who are both so concerned could spell one another on doing some daily checks? Apparently the other neighbor has the daughter's number and you could call her which would make total two concerned neighbors and perhaps she would visit and have her Mom evaluated. She undoubtedly cannot or will not move her near her for any number of reasons not known to us nor our business. But the woman's health does leave one with concerns for her safety. Has your other neighbor been concerned enough to contact Adult Protective for wellness check. THEY can have the daughter's number as well? Good luck. Hope you will update this. Hard to fully assess a woman you really have not spoken to.
How is this woman getting groceries in? Does she still shop, drive? How is her property maintained?