This is all new to me. I've been able to keep my 85-year-old mother at home for the past 18 months since my Dad passed. Unfortunately, the latest UTI and COVID restrictions has landed her in Rehab for 21 days in a nursing home where I can't visit. I've talked to nurses who tell me she is still very confused AND they have lost her bottom partials (dentures). I'm an only child and completely guilt-ridden over this situation. Even though Momma doesn't know I'm her daughter most days, she is still my Mom...... Any ideas what to do about partial (dentures)? I don't want to be ugly and then the staff take it out on Momma, but I find it inexcusable to lose half of someone's teeth!!! Thanks for any advice.....
While I understand you wanting to keep your mother happy, sometimes safe has to start coming before happiness. If resources allow, you may feel better bringing your mother home with in home PT/OT and some in home support hours; however, if your mother has cognitive issues in the home then she may be at the point she needs a facility for 24/7 supervision, not necessarily in the facility the hospital chose.
You can have her discharged with therapy at home. And remember, you do not have to agree to rehab. They make it seem like its mandatory because they don't ask, they tell. "We are sending your LO to rehab and these are the ones available". There are times when rehab is needed. I don't think to just get your strength back after a 3 or 4 day hospital stay warrants it. I was told Mom would never walk again without assistance. Got her back to her AL and she was walking all over with her walker.
Remember, rehab is a money maker and they will milk Medicare for as long as they can. To insure Mom is out by the 20days (and it is 20 not 21) tell admitting that she can't pay passed that time. Don't let them apply for Medicaid. A can of worms you don't want to open until you need to.
I would ask how she is progressing in therapy. Is she able to follow instructions, remember exercises. Do they see any improvement? Confusion is caused because Mom is with strange people in a strange place. If you feel her being there is not helping, talk to the DON and tell him/her that you want Mom discharged and therapy set up in your home. Don't let them tell you she can't be released, she can be against medical advice (AMA). If they won't set up therapy in your home, call Moms PCP. It just takes a doctor's order. And if told Medicare won't pay the bill, thats false, they pay for the time she was there.
Momma really is in pretty bad shape. I have had sitters on and off for the past 6-9 months, but she doesn't like anyone in her home. I'm the only child and only caretaker for her, and I've about hit my limit......
When she falls (3-4 times weekly), I'm the one she calls to come pick her up. I'm the one who goes twice a day to make sure her medicine is laid out and also that she has food available to eat.
I feel really guilty about her being there alone, but I've just hit my limit. The night I stayed in the hospital with her, she said some pretty nasty things to me. I sat on the floor in front of her chair to try to keep her seated, but she continually kicked me, swatted at me, and talked ugly.....
I have never been close to my mother (a big Daddy's girl), and there has always been a rift between us. I promised her I would take care of her, but she doesn't even remember I'm her daughter. She argues with me that MY daughter is HER daughter.....
Sorry for rambling, but I'm just at a loss for which direction to go. I feel she is getting better care in the Nursing Home, but I fear signing up to leave her longterm. On the flip side, I just cannot handle her at home any more. I am not a nurse, and my back and nerves are at the breaking point.
Don't get ugly. Find out what their plan is. Read the admissions paperwork to find out what they are responsible for.
Due to the COVID restrictions, I have not been able to see her since last Wednesday. Which was the day after the hospital called me at 11 pm and asked if I could come stay with her. They couldn't control her. She was agitated and determined to leave (with or without help).
That night she was walking pretty good in a small space, but generally, she can only take small steps a few at a time.