Mom believes that her dad and mom recently died (dad died 59 years ago and her mother died over 30 years ago!). She wants me to take her to the bank to get what was left to her. She's adamant and says that the bank is "holding money that he left the family." So, I take her to the bank and withdraw some cash and give it to her. After we left, she says, "We need to go to the bank. They are holding money that my dad left me. I can't get nobody to take me to get it." She's frustrated and I don't know what to do to appease her. I thought she would forget, but she hasn't. Please help me and tell me how to deal with this. Many thanks.
I had to take my mom to a geriatric doctor, after her primary dr finally asked if we(me) would like a referral to one. because my mom CONTINUED to insist she was robbed. she wanted me to call the banks and warn them that someone had her SS#. even after I told her MULTIPLY times that I called the banks (I didn't really) and everything was FINE. the conversation kept going and going. she was writing NOTES and taping to the walls. for the AL aids, to let them know *I've been robbed*
it was just TOO MUCH
so the geriatric dr started her lose dose anti-depressant. mom still says OFF the WALL stuff, but most times I can steer her another direction. but at lease shes not calling me everyday, saying: YOU KNEW I WAS ROBBED? DONT YOU?!
my mom and so many others will continue to get worse.
paranoia, seeing things, hearing things, incontinence, bad judgement...these are things that can happen. sometimes SO slowly you don't really notice. until its a daily occurrence.
It ended when he became fixated on something else... for weeks... I feel for you because we went through the same thing. It never ended... it just went from one thing to another. For months on end.
When my Grandmother finally reached the point of almost complete memory loss, and my Mom (her main Caregiver), a Nervous breakdown, and complete caregiver Burnout, my Grandmother was put into a Nursing home, the only Senior care they had in the 70's.
So then came the time to clear out her room, and we came across all her "little treasures", some of them disgusting things, if you know what I mean, but also some very expensive jewelry too! Uggg! She also ripped up almost every old picture and old family photo's too, which unfortunately were irreplaceable.
Not a lot was known about Alzheimer's and Dementia in the 70's, it was all family caregiving in those days. I really feel for those who are going through this difficult time with their Loved Ones!
If it's a money issue, I figure it's stuck in her head because she used to be responsible for financial matters in our family, and now that she knows she's not in control anymore, she's desperately trying to make sure everything's OK. Her fixation is because she's scared, because she senses how much cognition she's losing. All I can do is reassure her; I try to get her to write down that she's already checked with me and that everything's OK, and that I check everyday to make sure her money's still where it should be. Sometimes I ask one of my sisters to reinforce the message: sad to say, my brother is more effective than any of us females to reassure her about money matters -- for her generation, I guess, it takes a man to understand some things :-(
All I can suggest is that you share the burden of caring. You can't do it on your own. Both professional carers and other family members can be helpful. Try to see if you can find any of the "triggers"--specific words, times of the day, thoughts--that are starting this difficult behavior. If you can discover the triggers, you might be able to avoid the difficult behavior. As Dr Jennifer Bute (a medical doctor who is living with Alzheimer's says: "There is always a reason for the behavior." Take a look at her website: www.glorious opportunity. org which has a lot of suggestions about how carers can live with those experiencing dementia.
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