I have 2 neighbors with dementia. One has just been hospitalised after becoming violent with me so I have some breathing space whilst he is being assessed. He was angry because I stopped him from climbing over a high fence. He's 90 and frail. He's frustrated at me essentially saying he can't make a decision himself but it was very unsafe. My other neighbor is lovely and has carers visit 3 times per day. But she is straight out her door if she hears me, wanting to know what I'm doing. Sometimes we can have a good chat. As the day progresses she forgets me and asks if I've just moved in, or tells me to keep out of her shed. Yesterday she spent two hrs outside dressed to go out and waiting for her son who wasn't coming. When she's like this is it better if I just agree that I've just moved in? Should I try to make her understand he isn't coming? Today she's in and out hanging up then taking down the same towel on the line. She's always on the go and thin as a rake but repeating tasks seems to calm her. Any tips on how to react to odd behaviour or aggression would be helpful. As a non family member I only know what I see but want to do my best to keep an eye out for them without intruding.
Do both these demented elders live alone? That shouldn't be happening.
I'd call APS (Adult Protective Services) for both of them. Then maybe their families will pay some attention to their situation!!
You, as the neighbor, shouldn't have to oversee them. You're a neighbor, not a caregiver. You are nice enough to watch out for them but their FAMILIES (or paid caregivers) should be doing that.
If you can get the phone numbers for both families, call and let them know of their loved ones irratic behavior.
Irresponsible family members make me mad. 😡
And, to answer your question, yes, just go along with their delusions. There's no arguing with a dementia patient. Better not to upset them. Most "therapeutic fibs" are harmless.
You can get tips for supporting people with dementia from the Alzheimer's Society (all kinds of dementia, not just Alz., they help with) and you might also like to think about joining the Dementia Friends scheme - you sound like their model participant, interested in being aware without necessarily having any direct connection with caring for someone.
Do you ever get a chance to chat to the visiting carers, or are they more on a "blink and you miss them" schedule?