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My father is 90 years old. He has dementia, and everyday he is getting worse. He got UTI last month and he was hospitalized for few days now me and my two other sisters are taking care of him 24 hours of day every day. We divided the week and each get two or three days. My older sister is a nurse and she’s divorced and has 27 years old son living with him. I have two kids that are under 17. I told my sister to take our father to the nursing home but my older sister doesn’t want him to go. She says that I know in nursing home they will kill him. She says we have to take care of him and she said I don’t have a heart and if he dies in the nursing home it’s my fault because nurses in the nursing home they don’t care about their patients. I want to know is that true about nursing home and their staff???

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Nurses are professionals. Nursing home nurses do not get paid a lot of money. Be decent with them, and they will go above and beyond. Do your research because some nursing homes are better than others - just like everything in this world.
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It understandably wasn't the one on one care that family can provide at home but in many ways the nursing home took better care of my mom than I did. While it is true that some NHs are understaffed and poorly managed there are many that are very good, why don't you arrange to tour a few?
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My mother entered residential care after a brutal 9 month stay in my (truly) tender, loving care. She HATED her life with me and I gained 60 (SIXTY) pounds.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I took her to the center where she’d received her Medicaid rehabilitation and placed her as a patient.

The result? The happiest, healthiest, best provided for 5 1/2 years she’d lived since my father had died.
I am SO GRATEFUL to those who cared for her. Some were not perfect, but actually, most were.

The cost was significant, and worth EVERY SINGLE CENT.

Her last living sibling is now living in the same facility. I have asked my children to place ME there, if they ever feel that I would benefit from that kind of care.

Someone should probably break it to your sister that if your father is sick and old and has dementia, it is very likely that he will die. Somewhere. At home? At a well run care center? Loved and cherished by family who didn’t feel guilted into doing for him at the expense of their health? Somewhere.
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My mom spent the last three years in a nursing home. She was in the best of care. Everyone who worked on the floor, nursing staff, CNA’s maintenance people, laundry ladies, cleaning people knew every Residents name. My mom had Dementia and diagnosed in January with CHF. Yes she had a few tumbles out of bed or wheelchair, but that happened here at my house. My mom enjoyed all the activities..she was always busy, never spent time in her room until the last month. Staff was attentive, constantly checking on the Residents. My mom was in AL for almost a year she then moved to SNF section and she thrived. The staff was sad when she passed and I know her friends miss her.
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