Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Before my mom got Alzheimer's, she was very nice, to everyone. Once she got Alzheimer's, there were times when she could be nice to everyone EXCEPT me. The first time she told me to "Drop dead and go someplace warm" (over nothing, by the way), I was mortified. By the 20th time, I told her I better bring sunscreen and a hat. My husband would often mouth the words, "It's not really your mother," and he was so right. I even wrote a book about taking care of her called, "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale." I tried to remind myself that when she was mean to me, it was the disease talking.
A mother's cruelty and abuse hurts us on many levels. It also tends to escalate. I'm having the opposite experience. My 90 year old mother, now in late stage Alzheimer's, was violent, abusive and really quite evil most of my life. After screaming at my father and I for three days, she said that "If there wouldn't be repercussions, she would slit our throats with the kitchen knives." Social Services and local cops had her sectioned in psychiatric hospital where she stayed for four months. Finally, she received appropriate treatment and is on an anti depressant and anti psychotic. She is a different woman! I would talk to her doctor and see if meds could help. Physical pain causes lashing out and so does anxiety.
Step back (whether this mean an hour, a day, or a week - or longer). Be clear on your boundaries. Know it is the dementia mind / brain that is talking, not her 'old' self. If you cannot deal, do not. S-T-O-P and revise / make other arrangements for her. Limit time you see her. Perhaps go down to once a week (or whatever might feel emotionally do-able) or stop completely. Your Life Matters. She won't be 'so' activated if she doesn't see you and have a focus to dump on. She will find someone(s) else. And, my HEART goes out to you. I can imagine how painful this is. Develop compassion - it will support YOU. It is a/nother way to love yourself.
I think that if people have close relationships with one another, there will come times when anger, frustration and hopelessness, etc. will crop up and for whatever reason, things get said and done that should never have happened but they do. This can be when it is least expected and naturally words do hurt - even if they don't break our bones, just our souls and hearts. This is just a part of life. Personally, I do not care WHAT THE REASON IS - IT IS WRONG AND IT IS CRUEL AND ABUSIVE. If you are the victim, I believe you have to immediately set and enforce boundaries that this will not be tolerated. Second, I don't believe in distraction, or re-direction. You have been deeply hurt and if you keep that inside YOU, heaven help you. Speak up, whether they understand or not, and say what you have to say. If in time you can forgive and forget fine, but sometimes you can't do that and take it back. Then YOU have to decide what you want to do about it. Do you want to stick around and get more of it or do you deserve kindness and peace. Only you can decide the next move. If nothing stops it and you can't deal with it, it is best to find a way to get away and out of the picture - no matter who the relationship is and why it was done. No one should allow this and those that do it need to be placed where they can be controlled and stopped. Think of yourself first.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Be clear on your boundaries.
Know it is the dementia mind / brain that is talking, not her 'old' self.
If you cannot deal, do not. S-T-O-P and revise / make other arrangements for her.
Limit time you see her. Perhaps go down to once a week (or whatever might feel emotionally do-able) or stop completely. Your Life Matters.
She won't be 'so' activated if she doesn't see you and have a focus to dump on.
She will find someone(s) else.
And, my HEART goes out to you. I can imagine how painful this is.
Develop compassion - it will support YOU. It is a/nother way to love yourself.