My husband is a senior who is 25 years older than me. We have a baby. When we met he was vibrant and youthful, but suffered a heart attack and complications during open heart surgery. Today, nearly two years post-op, he non-stop complains - every day about everything. I am busy taking care of our very active toddler and working from home and trying to remain patient, but it is intensely frustrating!! He refuses to seek help from his doctors. Any ideas are welcome!!
I have had to mom my mom back in with us and I believe this time it’s permanent it’s putting a huge strain on us too I have 2 capable sisters that could give me a break but nope that’s not happening!
I finally signed up for up for a women’s fellowship group that touches all subjects! I ll pray for ya! My advice is pray a lot! Hugs!
The first thing I noticed was that Dad "forgot" a one hour plus conversation we had one evening; just a couple of days later he didn't remember it at all. Dad had a very sharp memory - often remembering the details on transactions or homes he had built decades prior - so any memory loss was very notable. This convinced me Dad was having TIAs but unfortunately the rest of the family (who hadn't personally experienced this yet) didn't believe me.
The second thing I noticed was a slight change in personality. Dad was an achiever and focused on/busy with his interests. He had a temper but wasn't particularly easily irritated - until he was. Optimistic Dad became pessimist Dad. He became more emotional and started crying at sad TV/movie scenes. He stopped attending funerals.
If any of this sounds familiar then you need to consider that your husband may have experienced a brain injury that results in depression. He may not able to fully recover from his heart attack and surgery without some medication. People that can accept diabetics need insulin, or people need thyroid for life because their bodies don't make enough still have a hard time accepting that some people may need to take medication for depression because their body just doesn't make the right chemicals in the right amounts anymore. Your husband may be one of them.
You might find it easier to talk him into couples counseling for post-coronary patients than address depression head on. A good counselor will get there soon enough if that's the problem.
You can’t help if you don’t know what the problem is. Try speaking with him in a calm and loving way. Tell him you’ve noticed he’s not happy and ask if there’s anything you can do.