I care for my mom in my home and have a brother and sister. Brother does nothing. He lives far away but won't even discuss the situation with me when I say I am completely burned out. Sister does help out some but only on her terms and when it is convenient for her. She's a raging narcissist and incredibly abusive and difficult to communicate with. My mom is in contact with both of them even though she knows how abusive they are to me. I mean, I understand how she wants contact with them because they are her kids but sometimes she is insensitive to the toll interacting with them has on me. She treats them just as well or better than me even though they do far less and actually care far less about her. Ideally she wouldn't be living with me but I haven't been able to work that out yet. My family growing up was extremely dysfunctional and abusive and having my mom with me after all these years of having almost no contact with my siblings is bringing it all back again. Anyone else dealing with a situation like this? Plus I am working about 50 hours a week at a regular job so I am exhausted from that as well as caring for her. I could go on but I better stop for now. Thanks.
"I've come to hate my mother she's using me and treats me like sh*t but I don't know what to do with her"
and
"i can't get enough sleep because my mom makes so much noise and her walker scraps the floor all the time. my left eye is twitching insanely. please for god's sake someone help me!!!!!"
That was almost three years ago. Are things still this bad? You were on FMLA for part of that time, at least, and now you are working 50 hours/week?
Who is with her while you are work 50 hours/week? What tasks do you have to help her with or do for her?
Does she pay you or contribute financially towards your household in any way? (If not, why not?) You had posted previously that you are both poor. If that's the case, then why haven't you pursued Medicaid eligibility? Why is she still living with you?
You got angry when people suggested she go to a facility previously, but I am not understanding why. If you hate your mother, you should NOT be taking care of her.
As for mom, if you don’t want to be providing her care in your home, there are most often choices. And paying for them is on her, not you! Please don’t go broke paying for her care
You can not make anyone do anything. Though your siblings may seem like they are being total jerks, they are not required to help take care of your mom in any way. But then, neither are YOU required to do so. It is a choice. Since you are burned out, you need to make some new choices. You need to come first.
Boundaries - you need to set some
Help - you need to get some
Placement - depending on her needs (which must not be 24/7 since you are working). Ultimately, you may need her to move into some kind of a facility so you can get your life back.
You just can NOT do it all alone.