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He can’t understand what you say and he gets confused because he thinks you said something completely different than what you said. He stays up until 12:30 to 1:00 AM before he goes to bed. I can’t get my sleep. I bought hearing plugs but they only help so much.

When my dad had dementia plus hearing loss, it was impossible to get him to wear the hearing aids. The rare times he would wear them, he’d end up losing them. If you can get him to wear the big ear phones, that should work a lot better as you won’t be able to hear the TV.

Getting him to understand what you are saying— stand right in front of him. Turn off tv, radio, etc. speak slowly and clearly and in short sentences with pauses between words. Use your hands to gesture and point. Boil down what you say to him to the bare minimum. Try writing words or pasting pictures on cards.

it takes the patience of a saint.

good luck!
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Reply to Suzy23
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I have in-ear hearing aids that were purchased from a large national company. They were definitely pricey but, other than battery changes every few days, they require NO technological ability on my part. That is a very good thing. At 87 I'm just barely able to keep up with basic tech. The company has pestered me to "update" to their newer (and probably pricier!) product, but I'm good for now. I've had these hearing aids for 3 years.
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Reply to ElizabethAR37
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I put a bluetooth transmitter on her TV and got her a small JBL bluetooth speaker that she keeps right by her. Sometimes she even sits it on her chest to feel the sound better.

Another option for your ear plugs are noise cancelling ear plugs.
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Reply to jwellsy
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Get him some ear phones. Hearing aids aren’t as good. Get someone to set it up with your tv. Solved our problem.
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Reply to Annanell
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My mother refused to wear earphones for the TV. I suppose she found them uncomfortable and limited her hearing to other sounds. But getting a small wifi speaker that sat right next to her easy chair on the end table worked like a charm. (found a great one on amazon)

Her audiologist explained to me that shouting and loud volume doesn't work nearly as well as just being close to their ears. He said that the shouting is not worth the frustration, and that I should just get closer to her ears when attempting to talk, and speak in a normal voice. I stopped even trying to talk across a room.
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Reply to EmilySue
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Having your loved one wear his hearing aids helps to keep his dementia from getting worse. Studies have shown a well-substantiated correlation between loss of hearing and dementia.

Try putting his hearing aids into his ears in the morning. Have him keep them in all day until bath time. Take them out at bedtime.

He might benefit from sleeping medication to help him fall asleep at night.
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Reply to Taarna
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asfastas1can Aug 16, 2024
This might work for some people. However, my 95-year-old mother was told 25 years ago she needed hearing aids, but she refused because they "made her look old". After my dad passed five years ago, we got her the best Beltones money could buy, and she hates them - she said it is like hearing through a screen door and the sound bounces off the walls. She said she hears the sound but cannot distinguish the words. She has been tested three different times by audiologist and has tried a very expensive Miracle Ear but the results were the same. All of the doctors have said she has a problem with hearing aids because she waited too long to get them, and that her hearing is close to being completely gone. She hears better talking on a phone, although I do have to repeat a lot. I am going to try the blue-tooth speaker thing, but I would love for her to hear her friends at gatherings and events at the Assisted Living where she lives. I cannot help her with her vision fading from macular degeneration and lack of mobility and her dementia, but I would love to help her with a device that lets her hear.
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loyalone: Due to Alzheimer's, this 82 year old male has lost the capacity for logical thought processes. Perhaps he can wear headphones for television audio.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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You don’t my grandfather would turn his off because he did not want to hear all the complaining. Which was most of the time in my family.
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Reply to Sample
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Beatty Aug 10, 2024
LOL
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Get him bluthtooth headsets! I do not have dementia but at 81 hearing is challenging. My wife does have Altzheimers. I can listen to the TV and she listens to Alexa Montovani soft music. Very calming.
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Reply to nealofpgh
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My Dad was the same way - won't wear hearing aids and everyone in every room could hear his tv. We bought him a nice pair of bluetooth Bose headphones. Problem solved - He loved them. He doesn't listen much to the tv any longer - I just leave it - volume off - on his favorite Western Channel for him as he's in bed most of the time these days. Good luck to you!
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Reply to Mamacrow
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Hello. I know what you’re dealing with. I had the same problem with my father before we got him a set of ear phones.
They hook up to the TV and he or someone else can control the volume for him. They are simple to use.
We all breathed a sigh of relief, as well as the neighbors! Good luck!
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Reply to Cheri1
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I had the same problem with the TV until we got him wireless headphones- worked like a charm!
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Reply to Beggert8
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I'm finding my experience, once in their 80s and with dementia, its a losing battle.
My dad has a super patient audiologist, who keeps reminding him that if he wears them daily his ears and brain will get used to them and they will work best, but this just does not sink in. Also, to stop putting qtips in ears and clogging them with wax, but he keeps forgetting. So he really doesnt like to wear them.

For TV watching, the headphones is a good idea if he will wear them. Or, move the TV to the furthest possible room away from you. Or - high noise blocking ear plugs for you as others have suggested
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Reply to strugglinson
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My hubby said this was my best purchase since our SUV…go to qvc.com and search TV Soundbox. It’s $129 and very worth it! Customer service to hook it up is excellent! I have 2. I like it loud and some shows it’s about the articulation. This may be a work around for you. We keep the actual TV on like 3-4 and he ends up hearing it thru mine, but not so loud cuz he’s farther away.
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Reply to hope411
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loyalone, has your hubby/father (?) seen an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor? Why I ask, my hubby had lost hearing in one ear, and I was getting tired of raising my voice to speak to him, because a raise voice for me sounds like I am angry.


Hubby saw an ENT doctor and sure enough he had wax in his ear that had harden like cement. It took awhile using different products suggested by the doctor before the doctor found one that worked. Then she was able to take out, bit by bit, the harden ear wax that had broken into tiny pieces. Anyway, just a suggestion.


We both use "closed caption" on the TV because actors today tend to mumble. Experiment with the different colors and fonts to see what works best. For us, the background is black with magenta lettering.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Welcome to my life. At least I’m not alone, thank you. I’m tired of yelling when I need to speak. I’m needing ideas also
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Reply to FOTONUT
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MargaretMcKen Aug 10, 2024
Perhaps the ideas you need are suggestions for when he 'gets violent'!
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My Mom got hearing aids a few years ago after much arguing with her (she's now 95). I have the advantage of her living next door to me so I go over there every morning and before I even allow her to start talking to me I go in to get her hearing aids and put them in for her. It's taken her a while to accept them. Even with them in sometimes I can tell she isn't processing cognitively what I'm saying. I told her if she wanted me to be her PoA and caregiver that she had to get hearing aids because I wasn't going to yell everything at her (even though we're Italian, there's only so much yelling you can do in a day). So, try to get into the habit of putting them in for him.

If he won't cooperate, get him headphones to wear to listen to the tv. If he won't adapt to that, see if there's anyway to limit the volume on the tv. Or turn it off and take the remote after a certain hour.

I agree with trying to get him into a routine.

"It is possible to lock the volume of a TV to prevent it from being set too loud. The method to lock the volume may vary depending on the brand and model of your TV. Here are a few possible ways to achieve this:

Using the TV's settings menu:
Some TVs have a built-in volume lock feature in their settings menu. You can access the settings menu by pressing the menu button on your TV remote and navigating to the audio or sound settings. Look for an option related to volume control or volume lock. Consult your TV's user manual or search online for specific instructions for your TV model.

Using a universal remote control:
If your TV does not have a built-in volume lock feature, you can try using a universal remote control that has a volume lock function. These remotes allow you to program a specific maximum volume level for your TV. Consult the user manual of your universal remote control for instructions on how to set up the volume lock feature.

Accessing the TV's service menu:
Some advanced TV models have a service menu that can be accessed to make changes to various settings, including volume control. However, accessing the service menu requires specific key combinations and should be done with caution. Search online for instructions on how to access the service menu for your TV model. Keep in mind that making changes in the service menu may void your warranty or cause unintended issues, so proceed with caution."

Source: https://www.quora.com/Can-I-lock-the-volume-of-my-TV-My-parents-set-the-TV-way-too-loud-and-its-right-by-my-room

Tell him the tv volume control is broken and that if he wants to watch the tv he must put in his hearing aids, and keep them in, to hear it.
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Reply to Geaton777
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FOTONUT Aug 10, 2024
“If he won't cooperate, get him headphones to wear to listen to the tv. If he won't adapt to that, see if there's anyway to limit the volume on the tv. Or turn it off and take the remote after a certain hour.” My husband gets violent. No way this can be done
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Part of the problem might not be the hearing aids...
A person with dementia takes a little while to process what is said.
I have read that it can take 30 to 60 seconds for the brain to process what was said. Then it takes a while to formulate a response.
So if he is watching TV and something is said by the time he figures out/understands what was said he is lost in the conversation. Same thing when he is sitting in the living room and you or anyone else is talking to him. This means that the response he gives you might be from a conversation he heard 30 minutes ago.
Talk to his doctor about his inability to sleep. There are medications that can help. you could even try Melatonin.
The drawback to any medication that can help you sleep is that it can also make the person a fall risk.
Try getting him on a "schedule".
If he is not involved in an Adult Day Program that might be good for him. It would be a reason to get up in the morning on the days he goes, he would have an active schedule so he may just be tired at the end of the day and go to bed early.
Turn off electronics 30 minutes before bed. Follow a routine. (turn off TV, bathroom, change. and any of the other things you do before bed)
A sound machine sometimes helps or soft music.
If this does not work and he still goes to bed late continue the "routine" by doing a morning routine.
Getting up at 7am, and starting your day. Get him up as well. There is a good possibility that eventually he will fall into a new routine.
Start making dr appointments early so he does not have an excuse for sleeping late.
If none of this works...just take care of yourself.
There are noise cancelling headphones that work very well but they may not be good in this situation as it would block out all noise and you would not be able to hear if there was an alarm that went off, if he left the house, if the phone rang....
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Reply to Grandma1954
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You don't. Move into the spare bedroom where you can sleep in peace. Bring earplugs if necessary, the heavy duty ones used by baggage handlers at the airport. I can't hear a train coming thru the house with those in!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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NO ONE loves their hearing aids. And when you are dealing with someone with dementia that adds a whole other level.

How is the eyesight of this senior? My own partner, 83 with hearing loss, and I myself with some hearing loss are quite dependent now on our caption system. Works so well for what we miss. I know that if there is no longer the ability to read it is out of the question. Otherwise, be certain it is on.

One more thing is that the current new and expensive aids require a whole lot of manipulation with APPS on phones and so on to fine tune them. Without this ability they are worth flushing them down the toilet. My partner is so much happier with his lower cost Costco hearing aids that don't require all this manipulation and tech savvy ability.

Other than this, there's not a lot to do but work on lightweight new earphones and be certain you don't allow him to trip on the cord if one is needed.

Best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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asfastas1can Aug 16, 2024
I don't have a Costco near us but would be willing to travel if the "less adjusting and lower cost" hearing aids they carry would work for my mom. She is absolutely lost with any modern technology, and she hates the expensive ones we got her even though they take very little adjusting for her. How is it in this day and age, hearing aids have to be so difficult?
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