I have had enough and got into huge argument with my sister. I really want a break and I want to just walk away, at least for awhile. I am burnt out and I told her this and she is so selfish that she just pushed me harder until I blew up. But, because I am the only person that will still have anything to do with her I feel awful and I feel sorry for her. I really don't like her even when I am not mad at her. But, I do care about her and I do love her. If I walk away I am miserable because of the guilt. If I don't walk away I am miserable because she drains me. What can I do to feel better about having my own life?
Look to your local agency for aging or perhaps senior connections,
Dr. appointments and She is giving up. And it's all my fault. Thanks for listening
I think that you are expecting yourself to be super-human, a Saint, if you will. And you aren't. You are just a loving sister pushed to the brink and occasionally toppling on over the brink into the abyss. You crawl on out then, realizing you love her.
Do let yourself be human. Do forgive yourself for being human. Do know that only good and decent people feel guilt. Monsters don't feel it at all. And know your limitations. I couldn't do what you are doing. There may come a time you cannot do it, either.
Allow yourself to recognize this for loss and sadness, and to mourn and cry and get depressed about it. Then do the best you can to get back up while you choose to do this care. Recognize there may come a time you can't; get help if you need it to comb through how close you are to that point.
Thoughts with you. So sorry for all this pain.
Don't feel guilty and don't let this destroy you. Contain this agency or Alzheimer's Assoc for $ assistance for caregivers to help you.
What are your sister's living arrangements? Does she live alone? Any other help besides you? Can she safely live alone? What do you do for her?
If she lives alone, that needs to change. Sounds like she should be in assisted living at a minimum.
I guess you need to figure out what are her needs vs her wants. If her basic needs are met, back away. If she can not meet her basic needs, then maybe you can give her some people to call that can help her.
When you are stressed and burnt out, you need a break. You have your own issues and life to tend to as well. Don't let her guilt you into doing so much more than you are willing and/or able to.