I have 2 Sisters both nurses one in state one out of state. One out of state gets very upset and mad when I ask for help she does not like being told what to do. So will not help except for a visit for a few days every 4 months. no kids etc. The one in state will come around once every 2 weeks. I have asked, communicated , pleaded with the needs of my parents both age 90. They say ok I will handle that but both repeatedly do not come thru.
I handle everything for my Mother with dementia its taken a very SERIOUS toll on my health and they are both aware of this, but still have not asked "what can I do to help" My Dad has serious health issues but able to care for self except I refill his meds order all his meds and keep track of that. It's has put a major strain on our relationship we all no longer talk. I am sure they are relieved because now I do not fill them in on Mom and Dad and I do not ask them for anything. My Dad cannot help my Mom he is too ill. He has a healthcare nurse that his insurance pays for but they will only help him. The real help they need is with meals. They do not help out with a meals much. One every 2 weeks for Sis in state, and out of state nothing unless I call and ask . They have a meal service but its horrible. Really horrible food they will not eat it.
Help they are the sweetest parents and have helped both out many times when they needed help.
D you have any other family around? Cousins, Aunts. Friends who are willing to lend a hand? Utilize them.
Use the elders community in your town. Palliative care can help. Is there a senior citizens center? Or home health service for both parents you can use? Use them.
I understand 100% because I'm in a similar situation. I am about to be disabled due to RA and Duypuyen contractor. Not from caregiving just from diabetes. But I wont be able to do a lot and I am moving to a plan B. Sometimes what you are used to doing has to get changed up a little. And that's ok.
Hope it works out for you. Be strong .
move to assisted living. Probably not what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. Your parents needs are too much for you manage on your own and it’s not fair for the 3 of you to prop them up so they can pretend they are still independent. Your sisters have shown you that they aren’t interested in helping keep up the charade so I think you should either try to bring in outside help in the form of caregivers or move them both to assisted living.