My state (NC) started allowing limited outdoor visitation on September 5. Mom's LTC didn't schedule any visits until September 17. I was given a slot on Sept. 18, which they canceled due to bad weather, and was rescheduled for Sept. 24. Just prior to the 24th, they reported a positive test result from an asymptomatic staff member, so I was re-rescheduled for Oct. 8. Then I got a call saying that they had miscalculated the waiting period, so the visit was moved to the 10th.
A few days later, they reported another positive case (again, a staff member and again asymptomatic) so my visit was re-re-rescheduled to Oct. 17. And yesterday, I got notification of yet another asymptomatic positive test from a staff member who was never in contact with the residents. I'm now waiting for the re-re-re-rescheduling call on that one.
Is anyone else out there experiencing a similar problem? I'm starting to lose hope. It seems awfully strange that the facility went without a single positive test until the visitation restrictions were lifted. And while it's good to know that none of the residents have tested positive, it's also strange that all of the staff cases have been asymptomatic. Intellectually, I realize that this can be a series of remarkable coincidences, but on the other hand, I'm emotionally fragile enough now to begin to wonder if they're getting false positives, or are just plain giving us the runaround.
I've gone back to window visits, because I can talk to her on the phone and don't have to wear a mask. It frustrates me to no end, though, as a caregiver is in there with her leaning close to tell her something so she can hear, patting her on the arm, and doing everything I should be able to do for her. They aren't living in bubble where they can't catch Covid anymore than I am, and the caregivers brought Covid in there in the first place. They had an outbreak, but it was over in six weeks.
That was in June and July, so why are they still locked down like Fort Knox? I should be able to see my mother!
My mother's ALF has been allowing window visits for months now; we go over every Sunday at 1 pm; she sits in the conference room at the window, the care giver calls ME on my cell phone, and we talk to her via the phone. She's literally 2 feet away from us, but the window separates us. They say they are going to start allowing indoor visits 'hopefully soon', but guess what? 2 more employees tested positive but are asymptomatic! More stalls, more delays, more nonsense. But I'm ok with it b/c we do get to do the window visits which in a way are better b/c my mother is mostly deaf. So sitting 6 feet away from her with both of us wearing masks is likely to produce a scream fest with lots of frustration to deal with, and her understanding NONE of the conversation. Sigh.
I vote for false positives, too much testing, and the runaround, all combined with the CYA principle for facilities. While I DO understand their predicament, these elders NEED HUMAN TOUCH from their loved ones again. Period.
I'm with you on the futility of window visits. With a mostly blind and deaf mother myself, it's hard to communicate over the phone. Worse still, the facility's windows are old and the seals have deteriorated, which has led to them being permanently foggy between the glass, making it more difficult for me to see Mom while rendering my shadow or outline barely discernible to her. And the windows haven't been cleaned on the outside in who knows when, so I have to bring a rag to clean off accumulated soil to see the little bit that I can. I also have to bring a camp chair and balance it on the river rocks that they have arranged along the foundation of the building, which can get pretty dicey when the rocks decide to shift under my chair.
And what's going to happen when winter arrives?
Your last paragraph sums things up pretty well. Thanks for responding.
Based on this view (which i would've seen if I visited in person) I asked for a visit from the facility podiatrist & let them know about the dirty clothes. Technology has definitely helped improve our visits; a blessing really.
But I appreciate that many people really miss seeing their relative and those who don't have family to take them out must be suffering horribly - almost as much, though in a different way, as if they caught the virus, maybe...?
I did note that this is a voluntary program for MN facilities... and even if the NC General Assembly proposes such legislation, they face an uphill battle because the governor is of the opposing political party and will most likely veto it, as his plan for reopening (currently in Phase 3) still imposes significant restrictions on visitation. The LTC has advised me that they follow both CMS guidance and the state mandates, adhering to that which is most restrictive.
It's frustrating, to say the least. But I'll give it a shot.
We still only have window visits with my mom and she is declining, especially because she sits in her room all day now. No activities, and she is also depressed because she hasn't been able to get her hair cut in 7 months. I don't understand why she can't see the beauty shop in her SN to cut her hair! All her adult life she has had a a very short haircut and now it's past her shoulders. I can tell it bothers her. She is declining so much she doesn't even want to read, something she's always enjoyed.
We've got to do something to get our LOs back to some semblance of normal. Why can't social distancing take place and have a musician even come in to play music? And I think the "Essential Caregiver" idea should be implemented.
Hugs to all of you going through this with your LOs.
I am so so sorry about your dad suddenly passing away last month at his ALF. I'm glad you were able to hug your dad. It breaks my heart as I know it has yours that you had to tell your mom through her window. Thankfully, her SNF did bend the rules and brought her outside so you and your dad were able to hug her one last time after not being able to for 7 months.
I feel for your mom - that she is declining as she just sits in her room all day. The lack of activities and not being able to go to the beauty shop is truly a shame. My mom is 95 with Alzheimer's and prior to COVID, I always made sure she had her hair done every other week and colored when it needed it. Now my mom's hair is 3/4 white which was a shock when I saw her. She needs a haircut too - the Activity Director offered but, my mom declined. Also, the director has two rescue dogs and just had a litter of Boston Terrier puppies a couple months ago which she brings to my mom and other residents. My mom used to enjoy reading as well but, doesn't as much anymore.
All I could do is go to Walmart and find a small radio player and had it set to her favorite classical music station. I also bought her a handheld poker game (she's played those for years), got her TV set up and bought some pretty pink artificial flowers. I bring her travel magazines occasionally to look at the pictures.
Just like you, my heart breaks for the families whose loved ones died without any physical touch and basically died alone.
I will be praying for your mom and you - I sure hope something can be done for her to lift her spirit.
God bless you both as you go through the grieving process and a hug to you too!