I recently placed my mom in an ALF but have found in week 2 her care is not what I expected or was promised. I know it takes some time for the staff to get comfortable with her needs. Are my expectations to high this early in the process? I am certainly vocalizing my displeasure. Can someone give me pointers on how you handled this situation? I do not want to alienate the staff but want to protect my mom.
You do not say what you find lacking.
Did you do a careplan meeting yet? Have you asked to be part of her careplan? Were the "levels of care" usually one through four, explained fully to you?
An ALF is just that. It is for seniors who are competent, who are for the most part participating in their own care. They may need checking, medication delivery, assist with showers and laundry, housekeeping, meals, and etc. Some one higher levels of care may need assist with dressing, with incontinence if it is a problem.
So this is a learning process for both the facility, which is getting to know your Mom and her needs, and for you, getting to know what to expect, and whether or not this is a good fit. Some facilities such as Board and Care, with fewer residents and a more home like atmosphere work for some people, while for others, memory care may be needed if there are a lot of needs.
What exactly were you led to believe would be done that is currently not being done? Where was your Mom living prior to moving into ALF. What expectations does she have/you have that are not being met?
This is time not for vocalizing displeasure, but for making it clear that you had different expectations, for meeting with administration and discussing this.
My best to you. This is all adapting and learning hopefully, and adjustment. I wish you the best.
Did this AL give you assurances that AL was the correct placement for your Mom?
It seems to me, based on what you wrote, that your mom needs Memory Care. In my mom's MC, there were fewer residents and more caregivers, meaning MORE attention was given to each resident. Someone was CONSTANTLY looking in on mom; plus, she was brought out into the activity room each morning, then toileted every 2 hours regularly, so she was looked after ALL DAY LONG, and then at night too., It wasn't an 'extra service' to be looked in on every 2 hours, it was automatic in Memory Care. If your mom doesn't know to push the pendant, she's in need of more care than a regular ALF would give, imo.
FWIW, my mother was 'stronger' and 'more cognizant' than the majority of the others in MC too, BUT, she needed MORE CARE than the residents in AL. So there's the Catch-22 for women like this. Mom BELONGED in Memory Care for the extra care that was required, and she eventually needed it for the cognizance issues TOO. So in reality, maybe she could have stayed in AL for another year (she was in MC for just under 3 years in total before she died), but her mobility problems forced the move a bit TOO early. All in all, I'm glad I did it that way and moved her to MC a 'bit too early' b/c she needed the extra care & attention that she was given. The CGs loved her to death, honestly, and the parade thru her room the final week of her life was a testament to me having done the right thing for her.
I know the position you're in; between a rock & a hard place. There's no 'right or wrong' answer except to say, go with your gut. If you feel mom needs more 1:1 care, MC is the answer. She'll make friends with a few ladies over there and she'll adjust. If you think she's better off on the AL side, the care WILL suffer some b/c the ratio of caregivers to residents is just not there.
BEST OF LUCK to you.
Not enough information, however, if these things are being told to you by your mother rather than you seeing yourself, I would be very hesitant to jump on the band wagon. They all complain about the same things, trying to manipulate a LO to take them back home, it is a very common practice and they will pull out all stops to get what they want.
Hope this all works out for you!
You can always speak with the Executive Director of the ALF about your concerns....thats what I did when I had an issue.
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