Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mom is clinically depressed and she is going down hill fast. She is completely immobile. She needs to bathe and take her meds. My brother and I are trying, but she wont help herself. It is like she wants to die! Help!
"I am caring for my mother...who is 80 years old, living at home with depression, incontinence, mobility problems, and urinary tract infection."
Is she clear of the UTI? Having a UTI can make an elder go down fast and suddenly. If you have any reason to believe she might still have the infection, please move forward to getting her in for another test and round of treatment. Left untreated a UTI can turn septic and life threatening. Often there are no other symptoms that an elder identifies, but can display dementia-like symptoms; confusion, hallucinations, etc.
Is there a neighbor who might be willing (for a small fee) to come in to give her the meds? Someone she's familiar with and trusts? Or maybe contact social services for her county to see if she qualifies for any in-home help, like light housekeeping, hygiene and food prep.
There's only so much you can do if she refuses to cooperate. I wish you wisdom and peace in your heart as you sort it out with your brother.
As hard as it is to watch a LO living like your mother is, there's nothing you can do if she doesn't want to help herself and be compliant with a care plan.
You say you live 58 miles away. Maybe you or your brother, or both of you could take a little time off from the FMLA amd help your mother get straightened out.
Is she in assisted living? If she's now immobile and has clinical depression she probably should be. She should also be living closer to you or your brother.
Does anyone have her POA? No one will even be allowed to communicate with her doctors unless they do.
I don't know how old your mother is, but if she's old, immobile, and lonely she may very well be ready to go to the next life. It's hard to witness a LO giving up, but when it's time it's time.
My father loved life and lived up until he gave up a few months before his 92nd birthday. He had been in a nursing home for several months and he wanted to go. Then he did.
This could be the case for your mother too depending on her age and other life factors.
Alva is right. Talk to your mother and then listen. I don't mean listen to incessant complaining and the negativity that seniors spread around for recreation. I mean really listen and you'll know what bits are important and which aren't. Then you can help her plan from there.
What began the slide? What illness is she diagnosed with that has taken her off her feet? Is this an illness, aging, depression or a combo? Has she been seen by her MD for depression, and diagnosed as having it?
Most importantly, what does she tell you when you ask her "Are you tired? Are you wanting to make an exit now?". You need to talk to her and more importantly you need to let HER TALK. Most of my patients shared with me that their families would not discuss with them that they were ready to go. My own Dad told me he had had a wonderful life but was now exhausted by life at 92 and wished to have the last "long nap". Your Mom may honestly wish to die and it may have ZERO to do with depression. Elders cannot discuss this with families because families think they can fix it and they cannot. Elders are left to talk about this important subject with their RN, a total stranger.
You don't mention how old your Mom is, but whatever is happening start with a long and honest talk. If she is feeling depressed it may be helped by medication, but if she is tired that needs to be acknowledged by you, and you need to ask her if there are ways you can help make her last time, something neither of you have any control over in terms of time, better for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
"I am caring for my mother...who is 80 years old, living at home with depression, incontinence, mobility problems, and urinary tract infection."
Is she clear of the UTI? Having a UTI can make an elder go down fast and suddenly. If you have any reason to believe she might still have the infection, please move forward to getting her in for another test and round of treatment. Left untreated a UTI can turn septic and life threatening. Often there are no other symptoms that an elder identifies, but can display dementia-like symptoms; confusion, hallucinations, etc.
Is there a neighbor who might be willing (for a small fee) to come in to give her the meds? Someone she's familiar with and trusts? Or maybe contact social services for her county to see if she qualifies for any in-home help, like light housekeeping, hygiene and food prep.
There's only so much you can do if she refuses to cooperate. I wish you wisdom and peace in your heart as you sort it out with your brother.
You say you live 58 miles away. Maybe you or your brother, or both of you could take a little time off from the FMLA amd help your mother get straightened out.
Is she in assisted living? If she's now immobile and has clinical depression she probably should be.
She should also be living closer to you or your brother.
Does anyone have her POA? No one will even be allowed to communicate with her doctors unless they do.
I don't know how old your mother is, but if she's old, immobile, and lonely she may very well be ready to go to the next life.
It's hard to witness a LO giving up, but when it's time it's time.
My father loved life and lived up until he gave up a few months before his 92nd birthday. He had been in a nursing home for several months and he wanted to go. Then he did.
This could be the case for your mother too depending on her age and other life factors.
Alva is right. Talk to your mother and then listen. I don't mean listen to incessant complaining and the negativity that seniors spread around for recreation. I mean really listen and you'll know what bits are important and which aren't. Then you can help her plan from there.
What began the slide? What illness is she diagnosed with that has taken her off her feet? Is this an illness, aging, depression or a combo? Has she been seen by her MD for depression, and diagnosed as having it?
Most importantly, what does she tell you when you ask her "Are you tired? Are you wanting to make an exit now?". You need to talk to her and more importantly you need to let HER TALK. Most of my patients shared with me that their families would not discuss with them that they were ready to go. My own Dad told me he had had a wonderful life but was now exhausted by life at 92 and wished to have the last "long nap". Your Mom may honestly wish to die and it may have ZERO to do with depression. Elders cannot discuss this with families because families think they can fix it and they cannot. Elders are left to talk about this important subject with their RN, a total stranger.
You don't mention how old your Mom is, but whatever is happening start with a long and honest talk. If she is feeling depressed it may be helped by medication, but if she is tired that needs to be acknowledged by you, and you need to ask her if there are ways you can help make her last time, something neither of you have any control over in terms of time, better for her.