Follow
Share

My mother has dementia, and her drivers license was recently revoked by the DMV. She gave her car to my brother who lives with her and he knowingly gives her access to the keys. I have had separate discussions with both with my mom and my brother that it isn’t safe or legal and she is putting herself and others at risk. I have also searched for the keys to take them away, but haven’t located them. I’m unsure on what my next step should be.

Find Care & Housing
Have you tried spelling out for your brother the terrible risk he is opening your mother to? I would tell him in very stark terms. If a kid on a bike crosses her path and she runs over the kid, she would almost certainly be sued for everything she has. The fact that she has been diagnosed with dementia and has had her license revoked makes it worse for your brother. I don’t know the particulars of the law here, but he is knowingly aiding her in very unsafe behavior.

Would he give her a loaded gun? I know this sounds extreme but I think it’s equivalent. Not only could she get lost or get in an accident where she is hurt or killed — she could hurt or even kill other people.

good luck!!!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Suzy23
Report

If you know when she is driving, call the police. I am lucky that I live jn a small town. So the police are usually local and we at least know their parents. I may call and ask if a police officer can go to Moms house and talk to brother with Mom present. Then explain that Moms license has been revoked and brother could be held responsible for allowing her to drive. Now they have the cars discription and license# they will be on the lookout for her. If caught driving her car will be impounded.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Are you her POA?
Because without that there is little you can do other than to report her to the police and the DMV.

You say she has been living with brother and has gifted him the car but that she allows this and she uses it.
Time for a discussion with brother. If HE is the POA then he is not fulfilling his fiduciary role. I would tell him that doing this understanding what could happen means he is endangering his principal, and that you will report him to APS if he continues to endanger your mom.

The gifting is also not good unless BOTH their names remain on the title, because if she needs to depend on any governmental assistance in the next 5 years this gift will be having to be returned to her assets. And you should consider that, given your brother doesn't understand 5 year (2 1/2 in Cali) lookbacks, what else doesn't he understand about being POA?

I would consider going to local DMV with your question, and reporting this to your mother's doctor.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Report the situation to local DMV and law enforcement. Tell brother you are doing so and of his liability in letting her drive
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

That a difficult situation! Your brother is sabotaging your efforts to keep your mother and others safe if she gets behind the wheel of a car.
Since her license is revoked she is breaking the law. Consider calling the police next time she drives or explain the situation.
I would tell your brother that since he insists on allowing your mother to drive that it’s his responsibility if anything should happen to her or others. If she should ( God forbid) hit someone due to lack of reflexes or cognitive ability, that burden is on him.

I have had to have my aunt license revoked and tell my husband if he can’t see pedestrians walking on the side of the road he shouldn’t be driving. Neither of the are driving. If neither of those work, I would lawyer up.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Nonna62
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter