My husband is at late stage MCI or very early Alz. He is very functional but cannot remember to do simple tasks. I have tried writing them down, but he does not always look at the list. He also does not prioritize what has to be done today- cannot wait until tomorrow. How can I set up a system that will help him? He is not a big phone person, but perhaps he can start carrying his phone. Any suggestions would be welcome. Support is wanted- not criticism of what I am doing (that happened last time I wrote on here and I hesitated to write again but I know you are the people with the answers). I know you will have some helpful strategies!
I posted my mother's cell phone number in her room, along with directions for calling me using her cell phone and a list of other numbers she might want. Mom was never a big cell phone user even before she had memory issues and never used the phone contact list; she would just dial numbers from memory or her written list and press "talk". Posting this information early in the memory loss progression can help instill a habit of looking for needed information on the wall that's very useful later when memory deficits are larger.
Mom didn't get/understand security system panic buttons very well either, so I got the larger button sized one (instead of the small pendant) and added a "HELP" label. Basically, anything you can use to build a bridge into past habits usually works better than anything completely new. When Mom had her joint replacement surgeries 20 years ago there were "help" buttons in the rehab bath and room, so she quickly adapted to HELP buttons her the bath and bedroom. As long as I can remember, Mom listed important appointments on a wall calendar so she still keeps up with the day and when she has adult day care or doctor's appointments on the calendar now.
Clear storage containers for everything from fridge leftovers to dresser top storage help so your husband can see where stuff is instead of needing to remember. My father (with vascular dementia) had a wooden box on his dresser he was accustomed to putting his pocket contents in overnight. At one point, we replaced it with a clear plastic storage box so he could see the contents when he could no longer consistently remember his keys were in the wooden box. Although Dad's memory remained largely in tact through the advanced stage, he had the devil of a time keeping up with his key ring (house, garage, out buildings, car for a while) fairly early in his progression.
He can not help his abilities any longer, so you are going to have to adjust your expectations. Things that you need done by him, you will have to direct him and probably prompt him and even help him with the steps.
This is a frustrating, heartbreaking disease that truly affects the entire family. I hope that you can find the best way to change your expectations of your dear husband, he is not the same man that you married.
And repeat the reminder 3 times?
I can.
(disclaimer: I know nothing about this kind of tech, anybody else care to comment?)
Since her fall in 2018 and my retirement, we don't need the lists anymore because Mom needs some assistance in the morning and evening routines and I'm here to eat lunch with her. If your husband has dementia, he may not be able to adapt to the list no matter how clear or easy to see/read you can make it.
I have to work with my hubs or at least start the project/chore.
Then just a bit of encouragement or supervision is usually helpful.
There are days when I just let it go.
Not sure there is a real "system", because my own hubs is changeable, both in function and in attitude. There are times when he is amazing at what he can and does do.
So, you mention "prioritizing". Being able to prioritize is part of what is termed "executive functioning". In my experience with my mom and other family members with dementia and MCI, this is the first thing to "go".
Are you expecting him to complete tasks while you are not there to cue him? That may not be possible any longer.
They seem to only be able to do whatever it is 'while being told to do whatever,' right then, not later, like recall you telling them to do it or on a list which usually winds up lost. You may get him to do a few things most of the time like 'put your keys here,' and make a place for those, but it won't always work.
A phone may not be a good idea whether he was a big phone person or not. He'll likely lose it, and other times not know where it is, how to operate it, etc. Another headache you don't need.
What sort of tasks are we talking about? Where is he, usually, when they need to be done?