My mum has Alzheimer's. She lives in an over 55s village, where she is safe and loved. She has a carer to take her shopping every Friday. I give her $200 one week and $100 the next that is for food and incidentals only. I pay all her bills/medication etc. She is on a pension, so there is no more money. She can spend $300 in a week. She doesn't understand when the money runs out. I don't know how to stop it, I explain that I have no more money to give her. She has now started to call me a thief, a spy, I invade her privacy, taken her licence off her and control her life. I now dread answering the phone or visiting, because nothing is nice anymore and all I get is abuse. I'm doing my best to make sure she is safe, loved, gets everything she needs etc. but her venom is driving me to crazy. I don't want mum to have this, she is 72, and I don't know how much longer I can keep "my chin up", as everyone who has a fleeting hour with her can tell me. Does anyone have any advice on how they dealt with finances?
Oh, yeah, she'll cry abuse, but let it go in one ear and out the other...just like SHE did when YOU were a little brat. ;)
She could be flushing the money down the toilet for all you know. Mom wasn't doing THAT, but she did cut up eight $100 bills to teach us OUR lesson.
If she needs spending money for her complex, establish an account with them. They'll track how she spends it.
$300 for 2 weeks is a lot of spending money.
I do wonder as well where all the money is going and think a check as GeeWhiz suggests might be a good idea to see if the house is filled with stuff.
What's meant by "taken her licence off her" - are you restricting her driving, which does sound like a good idea.
With dementia the person looses their filters and judgement. She may be giving the money away or she may be taken advantage of quite easily. Things may be stacked to the point of hoarding. She may even be misplacing the money. (check pockets inclothing and purses) Be outside in your car when she returns from 'Friday shopping'. See what comes into the house and how much it cost. It will give you a better idea of what is happening.
If she starts berating you when you visit or on the phone you explain that you aren't going to listen to that c#%p and get up and leave/hang up. The hard part will be her bad-mouthing you to all and sundry and there is little you can do to stop that. Those who know you realize that what she says isn't true, you don't need to bother with what the others think.