Mom has mild dementia, 91 years old. When she doesn't like what I tell her to do she makes up stories and talks loudly over me or sings while I speak. I try to to get into her world and not argue but I become very frustrated. She tells me she is moving out or that she has a job lined up and she is leaving, LOL. My kids were never as fresh to me as she is. How do you handle this type of behavior?
That would make me fit to be tied!
Have you had any luck with arranging an assessment of her current mental state? Do you have any support with her care?
I hope this helps you understand your mother is not “being fresh”. She sees her behavior as perfectly reasonable. Everyone else is wrong and she is right.
Hugs, and know you are not alone.
Talking nonsense is what people with dementia do. It is one of the ways we know they have dementia. In certain situations you can work that nonsense into your requests. "You have a job? Mom, that is amazing! Not many people your age could handle that. If you are going to work you certainly will want to wear clean clothes. Let me help you out of those soiled pants."
Minimize the conflicts by minimizing what your tell her to do. Make sure the battle is worth it. (Many are not.) Limit yourself to what is absolutely necessary. For example, "Put your pajamas on" is not of the same importance as "wash your hands after using the toilet." And rather than telling her what to do, offer to help her with something. "Mom, would you like my help washing your hands, or would you rather do it yourself?" "Mom, I warmed your nightgown in the drier a few minutes. It will feel so cozy when you put it on!"
What kinds of things do you tell her to do that start her singing?
Unlike your children when they were young, your mother is no longer in learning mode. Meet her where she is, and don't expect what she is no longer capable of, like logical reasoning.