Daughter is 63 and grandaughters are ages 31 & 36. THey NEVER come to visit nor do they EVER offer any help. We see them on birthdays and holidays to get their presents. I am burned out trying to do it all alone. I’ve talked to them about it and they say they’ll try to visit more often but it never happens. I am soo angry with them for being so neglectful I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of seeing an attorney and changing our Will so my sister gets the majority of our estate because she has been there for me and him every step of the way. She is my rock. She is so kind to him and he loves her. She’s the only one who helps me. I can’t talk to my husband about this cuz he doesn’t understand. He’s not able to make any decisions anymore. Can anyone give me some advice. This situation is making me sick. I have heart surgery coming up this month and my sis will be staying with my husband. It is taking a toll on my life.
It is worth at least thinking about telling your husband's daughter and grandchildren that you intend to do this. It isn't nice to think that their behaviour could change because of the money. However what's happening now isn't nice either. The most charitable way to look at it may be that they have not really thought about their own responsibilities, because they know that you are coping so well. You want them to think again, and this might be the only way to make it happen.
You have my sympathy. I am going through similar issues myself with a difficult daughter.
Your husband's daughter and grandchildren don't visit. There's nothing you can do about that. Try to let it go. Every morning make a decision that for that day you will not be angry or resentful. If you find yourself feeling angry throughout the day do something nice for your husband instead.
We can't control other people's behavior and when we try it makes us crazy. Try to let it go. Work on letting it go and don't allow it to take a toll on your life.