My in laws need to to go to assisted living, they have even finally started talking about it. My husband will agree when I tell him we need to get the ball rolling on it, but then never really wants to sit down and talk about it. We just found out last night the lease on their apartment is up at the end of October, we thought it wasn't until March. We can't have them sign another lease, we can't afford to pay the fine if they have to break it. How do I get him onboard with this? He says there's no way we can get all of their stuff out of their storage unit in 2 months, but I think that's just an excuse.
Help!
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Are your in laws willing to move? Do they have the funds to pay for AL?
If so, that's great. Make sure you have POA for health and finances for them both.
Are they capable of packing their essentials, as though they are going on a month-long cruise? That will help with essential clothing and such. Next, off season clothing in some bins for storage.
If you've picked the place they are going to, make a diagram and figure out what furniture they can take. We found it easier when my mom moved to buy new, inexpensive stuff from Bob's rather than to move her furniture.
If this is really a very daunting task, hire movers to pack the rest and put it in storage so that you have more time to sort stuff.
I have my stuff in a storage unit that doesn't require a lease--it's basically month-to-month but it might require a month's notice to vacate.
My friend's folks, talked, downsized & moved in within a few months. There were younger retirees & once decided, were highly motivated to start the next part of their life.
I'm not feeling the vibe your in-laws are there. Or your DH.
So you can nudge then along maybe... Are they looking for someone to take charge? Or someone to offload all the work onto? Be wary!!
Or wait. Pull back from whatever you do to support their *independance*. Let it fall on your Husband. More than one Husband, when that happens starts yelling I can't do all this!! And the denial just fades away...
Will their Insurance cover the bill or do they have money saved for this?
Your husband might be waiting for you to ask him about his parents moving in with ya'll.
Next step signing leases etc.
Third step packing and moving.
If husband wants to help, even better- if not, at least in laws have you.
Signing leases is fine, (I’m assuming they have no dementia, that they don’t NEED their sons permission.)
packing and moving can always be bought if it comes down to that. Are their friends or club members who could assist, if professionals are too expensive ?
if they’ve not touched items in storage 3 years are they more detached from the items now-can they donate to a shelter?
Take your in-laws to sign up for the AL. Schedule a move date and inform your husband that his services are needed on xyz dates.
You can go through the storage and take any photos and family memorabilia then be present when the estate sale company moves and inventories everything to ensure that you have not missed anything.
It is okay to do this for your husband's parents, they need help daily and he is dropping the ball, pick it up and go with it. No one needs his permission to do this and they don't really need his help because everything can be hired.
The longer you wait for him the greater the chance that something happens and creates an emergency. Get them moved!