I work 2 days a week and can’t always be home, I’m afraid he will snoop legal paperwork and /or drive hubby to bank and who knows what. We have never had a great relationship with this man - only seeing husbands daughter and SIL a few times a year when we pay for dinner, they live only 30 min away. I’m 20 yrs younger than hubby and yes they can’t stand me. Something is fishy, what to do?
I agree with the others, protect yourself. Keep all of your paperwork with you and don't allow visits if you are not present. Have a doctor sign that your husband is not competent to sign anymore legal paperwork.
It might be a good idea for OP to inform SIL that DH has been adjudged to be no longer competent to sign any legal documents. If SIL then drops the whole idea, you have your answer.
Like said, hide all important papers. Get a lockbox for that purpose. Take husbands SS card and anything else like that and put it in ur purse.
Is there someone with DH the two days you work? If not, either take the two days off or have someone come in.
I think your concerns are real. Its important that u protect yourself.
I would notify the bank and ask them to help you protect your family finances by keeping husband from having solo access to money. Let them tell you what your options are.
Another idea to know if he is snooping, short of hidden cameras, sprinkle salt on things that he would likely snoop through, it's invisible, but you can feel it, so no salt equals moved items. Maybe keep anything that is none of their business in the trunk.
You can also say that visits need to be scheduled and that is just how it is, dropping in is to confusing to husband and his wellbeing is your main concern. Or you could schedule to drop him off at their house for a day while you are working, make sure to lock all the doors and if they ever had a key, I would re-key all the locks.
Do you have the POAs for your husband? Has he been officially diagnosed? These are important things to have in case they try any shenanigans.
I am sorry that you have to worry about their motives on top of dealing with your husband's illness.
good suggestions. you could work for a security company! :)