I am a caregiver to a woman who is a year younger than me. However, even though she is nice, she says things that will grate on your nerves.
I want to be politically correct, so; I won't mention anything that could be against the policies of AgingCare. This person complained about former caregivers, but from what I'm gathering they were doing favors for each other bordering on fraudulent activities and also doing things that are outside of the care plan. Today she visited a food pantry, but wanted me to use my driver's license so that she could get additional food items. Since this is not on the care plan for me, I didn't say anything but just stayed seated until she and the volunteer were done with her order. When we got back, she started talking about how I had cut the bones out of her purchased spareribs. Normally, I would cook these, but since we did hair care last Friday, I just placed the ribs in the pan, seasoned them and she was supposed to watch them. She complained about them. I told her that they were boneless ribs and I asked how long she left the in the oven. Also, I asked if she added the barbeque sauce. Even though I was told there are no mental or emotional problems, she seems forgetful at times that can appear like gaslighting. I chalk it up as manipulation when she can't get her way. She has signed timesheets in the past for her former aides even though they didn't work the hours. I've noticed a type of sneakiness with her at times.
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For me, no means no, and I'm not going to allow myself to be gaslit into doing things for them that is not in the actual care plan. I think I need to put these incidents into a report when I'm charting so the agency will be aware of her antics. They have some nasty cases out there. I had a talk with her social worker and this lady wants to pull me off the case because she feels its a bad match. Talking with the CSW was a complete waste of time. There were two workers in her building who told me that her aides don't stay with her because she is difficult. I can see why. She lives in a small room, gets government aid, and free food stamps. She hits the food pantry when she is low on food. I wanted to make the social worker aware of this. Instead she tried to railroad me and said that her client is very upset and hurt. I didn't buy this because the client was talking about a subject totally different before her social worker came in. So, when the social worker shows up, she cries and puts on an act. I shared with the social worker what this client has been doing like catching buses and expecting me to carry large bags on the bus. I told her about needing transportation to the grocery store and places to avoid having to carry all this stuff on the bus. Then this lady takes long walks after the aides leave but pretends that she can't do anything and will start running you around in circles with her overbearing personality. It is a government funded program where she gets everything for free including free aide service. This burns me up because people who need aides can't get the help because of people like her tying up a aide's time. There is an elderly neighbor that needs help in my complex and I would love to work for her.
(When I used to complain about my boss and I would vent to my Husband and say I would look for another job his response would be ... "You know the devil you got, the next one might be worse")
I would make the agencies aware of what she is doing.
For one reason this may be a change in her personality that they are unaware of. If no other caregiver has mentioned it and the woman was "smart enough" to hide it during evaluations it might be important for them to know.
If you are 100% positive that there was fraud and you have PROOF then this information needs to be shared.
DOCUMENT everything.
Do not fall into a trap of helping her do anything that is wrong. (I will not use the term illegal)
Even though what I said above about you know what you are dealing with and you don't know what might be next I have to add this...
If morally, ethically you do not feel right about this client then ask for another assignment. You can not compromise yourself.
You are right! I don't feel right about this client. She displays two different attitudes. She is sugary sweet with the CSW, but acts like a domineering tyrant when it is the two of us. I'm not sure what you call this type of behavior.
No I did not allow myself to fall into this. She did this with her other aides especially with this foodbank nonsense. When she said that another aide would actually go with her and get bags and bags of food for herself.
I'm reporting her to the agency tomorrow.
I think there is some sort of mental thing going on with this woman since she is also with another agency that deals with mental health issues. So, there are two agencies for her care. Another example is that she told me to find a sweater in one closet and said that it wasn't hanging up. I looked and couldn't find it. She went to another closet and knew exactly where to find the sweater.
The nursing staff said that she didn't have any issues, but this woman can talk nonstop for seven hours and will catch an attitude if she thinks I'm not listening. I can quit the case, but I can get someone worse than this one.
She is a nice lady with very passive aggressive tendencies. The old term would be nice/nasty.
You’ll have to decide if you want to continue with this job. IMO, it’s never a good idea to be implicated in shady or illegal doings because you don’t know how it will eventually impact you.
I feel the same way. She does need to be evaluated. I brought it up to the CSW and she tried to say this was cultural thing and a bad match. I'm seeing signs like confusion and apprehension when going into stores. Going to the store for one thing but coming out with items she didn't intend to purchase.
To me, it seems like typical old person's behavior for attention.