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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My trick? Before I fire off like a rocket at my mother, I make myself go in the bathroom and look in the mirror. Then I talk to myself. I remind myself that a few weeks ago she asked if we had penguins on our lake. PENGUINS. Then I ask myself, Are you really going to let someone get to you that’s asking about penguins?
Or I’ll use some other delusional comment or question she’s asked as my example. The point is to remind myself of the absurdity of some of these interactions. For some reason, that calms me down every time. For better or worse, reminding myself that sometime mom is just a crazy old lady (for lack of a better way to put it) REALLY helps.
I GET that; why is it after about 20 minutes in my mom's apt I start thinking of excuses to go home? Could it be the micromanaging? Or the sheer neediness? Or never wanting to talk about anything except her or her cat? I don't want to let it upset me, but can feel it creeping up.... Join the crowd.
Our Mothers sure know how to "push our buttons". I lived with my Mom for 9 years before she went into the nursing home. And I am only now realizing just how much she "pushed my buttons". Your Mom is treating you as the person that she sees you as: Her "Little" Daughter...while you would like to be treated as an Adult Woman and as the Caregiver of your Mother.
Take some deep breathes, do not respond to your Mother's comments in anger. After you take care of your Mom, if you are angry--listen to some music that has a lot of bass sounds or loud beats like drums. If you feel like, do some dance steps or aerobic exercises with the music. Once you have calmed down, then sit down or lay down and listen to soft, soothing music that refreshes your soul.
Probably more in adjustment than burnout, at a guess.
If you were burned out, for example, you wouldn't find the anger remarkable. You'd be furious with everything and everyone; and especially your mother, but you'd find it reasonable.
Having said that, this phase doesn't feel a whole lot more pleasant and I sympathise.
What do you want to do about it?
Do you feel like saying more about how you came to move in with your mother (is it that way round?), what her care needs are, and what if anything you have in the way of support?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Or I’ll use some other delusional comment or question she’s asked as my example. The point is to remind myself of the absurdity of some of these interactions. For some reason, that calms me down every time. For better or worse, reminding myself that sometime mom is just a crazy old lady (for lack of a better way to put it) REALLY helps.
Take some deep breathes, do not respond to your Mother's comments in anger. After you take care of your Mom, if you are angry--listen to some music that has a lot of bass sounds or loud beats like drums. If you feel like, do some dance steps or aerobic exercises with the music. Once you have calmed down, then sit down or lay down and listen to soft, soothing music that refreshes your soul.
If you were burned out, for example, you wouldn't find the anger remarkable. You'd be furious with everything and everyone; and especially your mother, but you'd find it reasonable.
Having said that, this phase doesn't feel a whole lot more pleasant and I sympathise.
What do you want to do about it?
Do you feel like saying more about how you came to move in with your mother (is it that way round?), what her care needs are, and what if anything you have in the way of support?
Do you have any respite from hanging around with your mom?
It sounds as though you are getting on each other's nerves.