So frustrating Always seems to be arguments Past accusations of affairs that didn't happen thinks people are taking things cuz he can't findNow not just others but meTonight says he thought I was the one who would take care of him 24 7 but apparently not in his prayers for me to hearWould like to hear others coping strategiesWe go do everything together I'm 62 he 73
Would encourage you to learn more about the disease you are dealing with and way to handle conversations by watching all you can of Teepa Snows videos. You can "google" them easily and they are free to watch.
If this has been a problem for 25 years it isn't due to Alzheimer's entirely. He would otherwise have been only 48 at that time. So I am assuming this is now progressing. If he is in chronic pain and taking painkillers this long then that is also a part of the problem.
You may be looking at a limited amount of time you can continue this care if you cannot moderate his actions and your reactions, so I wish you the very best of luck. He is young still and may have many years more.
Discuss with his doctor about these problems and there are medications that can help with the anxiety.
You can not argue with a person with dementia it will do nothing but frustrate both of you and that will lead to more anger and frustration.
Learn to walk away. If you have to wear earbuds or headphones. (as long as it is safe to do so)
If there is any potential for violence you have to call 911. Explain the situation and say that you are afraid for your safety.
You have to make sure you are safe. If he hurts you who will care for both of you?
Chronic pain is difficult in any case but with dementia it can be m ore problematic because it is difficult to tell if the pain is "real" or if he is just so used to pain that his brain does not know if he is in pain or not.
Is he on Hospice? He may qualify and if that is the case you would have a Nurse that would come at least 1 time a week to check on him. A CNA that would come at least 2 times a week. The Nurse orders any medication, medical supplies and equipment you might need. The CNA in addition to giving a bath or shower will order any personal supplies you need. You would also have a Social Worker and the rest of the Hospice Team that would be there to support you. And a little known benefit is that Medicare/Medicaid will cover Respite Care for Hospice patients. so you can get a break. And you can also request a Volunteer that can come sit with him for a few hours each week.