Currently she pays the electric, water and wifi and cries that she is near poverty every month. I know she has money in the bank and has a fistful of credit cards with packages arriving almost daily full of things she truly does not need. I divided all the utilities into 4 parts (electric, water, tv service and wifi) then added $100 a month towards food (she eats dinner with us every night but just grazes during the day partly on our food and partly on the junk food she buys. I also added on $30 a month for dog treats since her dog lines up every time I give my 2 dogs a treat and those darn things are so expensive. The amount comes to about half of her monthly social security check. This will also include driving her wherever she needs to go and running errands for her since she has decided to sell her car and then will save another $100 a month on her car insurance.
Since we have all moved in together (my house) she has stopped paying cable, home phone, groceries, and now car insurance. I don't want to hobble her, but I also cannot afford to pay her share of the expenses. Before she moved in with us, she rented an apartment and paid all utilities on her own and I am sure that was way more than we will be asking her for. We have a handicapped son who is quite expensive and does not get enough benefits to even cover his needs. Some advice from people who had to do similar types of things would be welcome.
Just irks me when the elderly take advantage, knowingly, and act like greedy little children to get their way, adding to the stress.
That is her basic living expenses.
Groceries, dog food, and caregiving is extra.
If she rented a room or was in AL or a nursing home, her basic expenses could cost so much more, depending on where. She is at your home, those are the basic expenses to live there. Just the facts, her relationship to you is irrelevant if she can be paying her way.
Does she live with you because she can’t live on her own? Maybe consider finding another apartment or independent living for her.
PS: I get my dog treats at Aldi. My picky dog loves them. $30 a month is a bit much unless you buy the home-baked ones.
She maybe could live on her own for a year or two, but it would not be a long term solution. I can see her becoming more frail, forgetful, and weak each month. When she first moved in, we had just bought the home as a retirement house for ourselves and our son. She moved in believing that she would have the house to herself for about 10 years. She was quite unhappy when my husband got a job here and then we relocated 6 years earlier than expected. Then she paid the utilities and we paid everything else. When we moved in, her diet improved and her entire quality of life.