OMG ! I hate myself! It seems that I get totally frustrated with the fact that she has "pain" in her vaginal area. I have taken her to the Gyn and there is nothing wrong except some thinning. She told us to do sitz bathes and that was THE answer. We were good for 2 weeks with doing them twice a day and now here we go again. The sitz bath is not helping and I'm supposed the find another answer. She was crying and I lost it! What is wrong with me? I feel like I'm falling apart. I cant' take this much longer and my brother has no time to help out! Pray f;or me.
I suppose it isn't anything daft such as her underpants not fitting her comfortably? Or one of those hidden pelvic fractures, where the 'seam' at the pubic mound separates? Oh crumbs, it could be anything; it can be very difficult to be specific about the various 'undercarriage' regions. For symptom relief you could try one of those 'lifesaver' cushions, with a firm seat ring and a hole in the middle - you used to see them in maternity wards, I imagine they're still pretty easy to find?
As for the yelling bit, my heart sinks for you; but since they don't hand out Pure Reason tablets with our Caregivers' badges I think we've all had our non-finest hours. Resolve not to do it again. What more can you do?
And the can't take it much longer? I will happily pray there will be better arrangements to be made before long, for all of us; but meanwhile here's a good rub between the shoulder blades for you. Big hug.
I'd make one more trip to a gynecologist and see if the gynecologist can duplicate the pain. In other words, does it hurt somewhere when something is pressed? Ask the doctor if it's possible she could have an internal abscess in that area. The pain is exquisite. And speaking from experience? It can be missed.
In my case, it was missed by two emergency rooms over an 8-day period. I'm not exaggerating. Missed by TWO emergency room doctors at two different hospitals. I ended up on antibiotic IVs, had emergency surgery the next day, and a two-day hospitalization. Nothing to fool around with. The infection, a nasty one, had spread throughout my body.
Just for the record, they ALSO prescribed sitz baths. Idiots.
If the gynecologist can't find anything, ask for a CT scan . . . or WHATEVER. Pain is a horrible thing. She has no one to speak for her except you, and I have a suspicion that doctors all too often discount pain reports from the very elderly.
If they can't find anything, then get pain medication for her.
Don't blame yourself for losing it. We've all done it. Care giving is a highly (and I do mean HIGHLY) stressful undertaking.
Another thing I thought that may be causing pain could be vaginal dryness due to menopause. I know about the dryness because I have experienced this and let me tell you it is painful. It has only happened a few times for me but those few times were painful. I have not seen a doctor yet as I do not have insurance.
As for having gotten upset, I truly understand as I too have been there. It is good to talk to others about the emotional roller coaster and all we go through and let me tell you I have been enlightened. I am one of eleven children and seem to be the only one that feels and tries to understand my mom's recent bouts of illnesses. I have come to accept that I am the only one but I want to do it with kindness and compassion. I choose to not allow myself to get upset with family any more as I do not want to be a bitter person and do not want to get sick so that I can be there for mom.
God bless you for being there for your mom. You are a beautiful soul.
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