His response was “If she would just get out of bed….” Like that is the answer to all her problems. He just echos the main caregivers attitude- what is exactly what she is wanting. Her staying in bed is a mental thing. It like most of her family wants to blame her for having a stroke and being in the nursing home. She was not overweight, did not drink or smoke- she still had a stroke. It must be nice to sit back and be judgemental when it evidently makes them feel better about themselves.
They are putting themself in her shoes, but without the effects of the stroke. Stroke is a brain injury. People may have some facial weakness but overall can look like themself when resting in a bed.
"She looks ok to me". That's what my sibling said after visiting our Mother after her massive stroke.
"Looks ok". She could not move 1/2 her body & lost partial vision. But these inner connections to the brain were 'invisable'.. unless you looked at the scan results. Or you took the time to watch & help move her body with these new deficits.
I wonder if fear gets mixed in & becomes anger. Fear they won't recover, fear or the unknown, fear this can happen to anyone, to THEM! (& yes it can). This becomes anger - why don't they TRY??
While being overweight, heart disease & smoking are risk factors that increase chance of stroke, it can happen due to other reasons. High cholesterol or heart abnormalities (genetics) or faulty vessels in the brain a person is born with (like aneurysm) that just one day breaks.
I would try to educate family members about stroke. Have a brochure, direct them to a stroke organisarion website - IF they are open/interested. But you know the type who knows better, right? The ones that only believe information that they know themselves already. Closed minded. Ignore them.
Arrange the care you need to for your LO. Sending supportive thoughts to you today.
I then spent two months at my parents house everyday , she wanted to do nothing . Kept saying “ she had to rest “. She wanted everything brought to her rather than walking to the kitchen for pills or food .
My father told me she would cry in the am and then again at night after I left.
It's so very important that early on after a stroke that you work hard with PT, OT, and speech therapy(if applicable)to get back to some sort of new normal.
Just staying in bed is an obvious sign of depression and that needs to be addressed with medication(s)so your loved one can start participating in life again.
The ball really is in your loved ones court, and enabling or making excuses for her doesn't help her one bit.
Is she not being offered any kind of PT or OT in her nursing facility, or is she being offered it and is just refusing it?