My grandmother is nearly 99 and is in a nursing home in another state. My dad has POA for her and has handled all her bills for her for at least 2 yrs. Before that he semi lived with her, cooking and taking her to appointments. He is now terminally ill and in a nursing home. He will be going to hospice, soon. He has end stage liver disease and his organs are shutting down. He can’t handle his mother’s affairs anymore. There is no secondary POA but the obvious person to take over is my uncle (in yet another state). He is already named as secondary executor of her will if my father passes first.
I have to video chat with my grandmother to try to convey just how serious my father’s condition is. I know dad has called her and told her he won’t be getting better-he had to be blunt because she kept saying she hoped he would get better. She doesn’t want to believe it because he’s the son who actually would call and visit. He’s also her baby. He has months to live. I don’t want to lie to my grandmother and would never, but I’m nervous about having to have this conversation with her. It’s awful. Have any of you had to do this and do you have any advice? I’ve tried calling her but she is so deaf she didn’t know it was me. She kept asking for my dad to call her because she is so worried😭
I gave up because she can’t make this decision and we can’t make her sign anything-she needs to be aware of what she’s signing and why.
I changed the subject to our birthdays, which are coming up and told her I’d send her something nice. I also let her see and talk to her great granddaughter and told her I loved and missed her. My uncle is going to pursue guardianship now as there appears to be no other choice.
many have suggested that I make the call with my father but he is in a nursing home and I can’t be with him because of Covid. He is planning on having a video chat with his mother so maybe seeing him will help. That was his decision.