My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia, currently she is living on her own in a senior living apt. She is getting so confused and forgetful. She goes thru spells where she will get mad and start yelling and not making sense, then she will cry. She talks something and I cant understand what she is talking about. (sounds drunk). She says she will NOT go into nursing home. She has a cat (18yrs) and she takes better care of the cat than herself. I do all bills, make sure she has groceries and check on her every day. She is down to 108# (5'6). I make sure she has simple/healthy meals. It's so hard describe.....you almost have to see how she acts to understand. I've had people tell me I should get an attorney and get legal guardianship of her. Right now I have Medical POA. She refuses to sign living will because of her cat. Any decisions she is willing to make seems too be made on the basis of her cat. ANY advice is appreciated.
If she has been diagnosed with dementia, how do you plan to get signature granting you the POA?
I should mention that any closed relative (sibling,child, etc) can file for guardianship and that would trump your POA of any sort, depending upon the type of guardianship filed for and what is granted.
Also the state at some point just might to file for or be appointed as the guardian.
And that may not be good.
Also , in some states there are those that are called professional guardians.
I would suggest that you look up the story about April Parks, Las Vegas. Although Ms Parks in now in prison for what she did, the damage she did cannot be reversed.
Your first order of business is to read and understand your HCPOA document. Mine authorized me to be my LO's guardian. If yours does, there's no need to seek guardianship.
You might want to get a second opinion on your mom. You say she has been diagnosed with "pseudodementia". That implies a copy cat of dementia and not real dementia. There are over 70 reasons for dementia and some are treatable. Unfortunately, AD is the major cause of dementia, but that wouldn't be categorized as pseudodementia. Another possibility is MCI, mild cognitive impairment, which can lead to dementia but not always. You need a more definitive diagnosis for your mom by a neurologist or gerontologist.
taking it day by day. thank you for the advice :)
With this information, I'd consult her doctor and an attorney. (You might first check to see if she has a UTI or some medical issue causing the strange behavior, to rule it out.) Let the attorney review the HCPOA. Some of them provide you with broad powers. See what you can get done using that document. I'd get legal advice on exactly what you can do and what the options are if more is needed. Like, what would you need to prove in court to have her found incompetent and appointed a Guardian. Make sure they are experienced in this and know how her county works in their court system. Knowing what you must prove in court is important. Some places examine if the person is able to run their own household or make their own medical decisions. Her medical doctor may not be aware of how she's not functioning well in the home by herself.
With all this covid stuff appts have been cancelled, then changed, then doc went on vacation, AND literally today found out this doc is leaving.
The neurologist has prescribed Seroquel (this week). I have a journal and I record happening and I have voicemails from her on my cell phone.
Mom took the verbal dementia test and she scored a 10.
Now about the financial POA or guardianship.........I am the only one taking care of this. there is very minimal assets (house hold items), no one to contest anything......could it be done without an attorney?
Neurologist started her on Seroquel 25 mg just this week to try and get the moods under control.
Even though you supply her meals, she may not be eating them. The way you describe your Mom, she should not be left alone. She may be in early stages of a Dementia or she could be having mini strokes, this could be the slurring of words. She needs a full physical to rule out a physical problem. She could have a UTI, dehydration, low potassium, diabetes...
She was diagnosed with Dementia in Feb 2020 /Mar 2020 MRI showed signs of TIA. No UTI, slightly dehydrated, potassium good, sugars good, bp little low. I am an EMT, so I keep close tabs on her AND her doctors.......I have noticed sometimes geriatric patients get tossed aside because they are "old", but, I'm sorry thats NOT going to happen here :).
Ive cared for MANY elders over the years and they ARE worth our time....they deserve the best care possible. After all they are the reason we are here.