My dad passed away in Jan. He was my moms caretaker. My mom is 77, however due to a few medical issues she is in a wheel chair, cannot stand on her own, and is basically fully dependent on others for everything. She’s in assisted living right now but is miserable because all the residents have mental health problems like dementia and she says she has no one to talk to. I go once a week because I’m working, in school, and raising a family. Anyway, she is still mentally young and is just very unhappy. She makes just enough monthly for the facility she is at now. All the other places are too expensive. But I don’t know how long she will last there because she requires so much care physically. I want her to get into a long term care facility, but she can’t afford it and due to my dads pensions she is not in the poverty level. I’m not sure how to get her on Medicaid. I can’t have her live in my home because she also has OCD, depression, anxiety, and she also lashes out at caretakers. I won’t have that in my home around my young kids. I also have a back injury and can’t lift her. I am just looking for some advice, steps I can take to get her in a facility that better meets her needs and how we can navigate that financially. TIA
But if that hasn’t happened, so this is abt dealing with moms concerns... What are her medical issues..... she’s not ambulatory but can she “transition” on her own from bed to wheelchair or wheelcHair to potty?
can she do anything to dress herself?..... she can in her wheelchair use a grabber to pull together her clothes in a closet for the day and fix her face & hair? Can she pay attention to a TV show, read the newspaper and have a conversation on current events? Can she feed herself?
Will she on her own take her medications on schedule? & If she’s on psych meds or behavior meds, if she takes them as prescribed is she social and cooperative?
if yes on these, I’d try to look for a board & care home. They often fall in a grey area for having to be licensed by the state as they are too small - at 6-10 beds total - to require it and the higher # of reportable to the State nursing staff. So they won’t be on a statewide list of elder living options. Often board & care are found via word of mouth or in church bulletins. Your Area Council in Aging probably has a list somewhere on board & care homes. They usually cost less than AL but will be private pay. Most of them take residents who are just “custodial care” but some will take a younger resident with higher medical needs but otherwise are still very competent and cognitive.
as a tangent on this, all the facilities have activities & outings. Is your mom making any effort to be a part of them? Even if she’s in a wheelchair she still can be involved in things. Is she doing this? Did she get any type of grief / bereavement counseling after her husband’s death?