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I need help mom not good, just wrote my question and lost it. Been off and on BP high n low. In hospital May 5 dehydrated was a nightmare. Used VPS hospice developed stage 3 bed sores. Put back on home care but then got UTI using Clare Medical not any better. Please help thank you

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How long has your mom not been eating or drinking? Is her bed sores being Tx and if so with what? Is her UTI being Tx? How old is your mom? Do you want mom to have respite or Tx?

Mom probably should get a new cardiologist. Afid will cause BP to go up and down which needs regular meds and check-ups. Can you make mom her favorite food, ice cream, shakes made from Ensure. You can also try chicken broth it may stimulate her to want to drink and eat! Do not water the broth down...the salt and other ingredients should sitmulate her digestive tract making her feel hungry and thirsty. If you can not get her to eat or drink than there is something more going on with her.

Medications can make a person not want to eat or drink. You should talk to her Dr.
Hospice is probably not the answer. Mom needs a home care aid.


I nor anyone on this forum can Dx or Tx your mom. All we can do is give you ideas and share our experiences with you.
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Have you asked your hospice provider if they have a facility that mom can go to for respite?
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Mamamia56 Jul 2019
Mom is blind and would never even go to a daycare when she was able, but thank you wish that was a option. Had blood work done Fri results are  she is severely dehydrated and in kidney failure. My daughter and sister, friends, nurses say no point now in hospital will only torment her with tubes, poke and  may catch mersa, sepsis, etc.
Such a hard decision but watching her 24/7 since I live with her is killing me, I give her water, wet her mouth , clean her eyes, this morning she told me stop, but she always said that to me. lol I tell her I love her non stop!! Any advice is appreciated God bless all. TY so much
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I have limited info but here is what I know. The hospice place I spoke to sends a nurse minimum 1x per week. There is home care for a certain number of hours per week for bathing etc. I would get a family doctor involved to coordinate care for her and explain what you feel she needs. Have hospice send a social worker to your home to discuss needs as well. You can get a gel pad for the bed to help reduce bedsores and the nurse should do this for you. They can order equipment and see what is covered beforehand. The nurse should do all of this. For uti you need to get fluids into her like ice pops, watermelon soups etc. they all help. Of course liquids. Water is best or water with some cranberry juice, diluted.
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You can opt to take your mother to hospital and have her discharged from this hospice service pending review by her cardiologist. Is that something you would want to do?

What did the hospice nurse advise you to do?

How is your mother herself? Doing okay, all things considered, or is she in any way distressed?
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No just 1 hospice in April 18 after she fell but it was a mistake. Dr just did it to help me because I'm alone but they didn't move her or get her up in the 3 weeks, that's how she got bed sores. I took her to hospital May 6 was dehydrated and went into Afib. She's had 2 stents 13 yrs ago. She got better took home but found out never saw a cardiologist in hospital , i didnt kno that her regular cardiologist doesn't have privileges so the attending IM prescribed cardizem. It's exhausting doing all this. I ask every day, Please God tell me what to do. Ty everyone for your help
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She really needs to have her own in-home caregiver. Hospice will come once or twice a week for baths...but that is all. Bedsores can only be handled by someone there everyday to treat them and move her position every couple hours. Other issues like UTI can be caused by not having her depends changed frequently...hospice is not coming every few hours to do that. She need her own caregiver there every day.
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Mamamia56 Jul 2019
Ty I am her live in caregiver, her bed sores healed but while on the antibiotics for UTI she didn't want to eat alot. So then became dehydrated, I tried to give as much liquids as she would take but now going on 3-4 days without food. When in hospital May 5 she never saw a cardiologist, the attending Dr thru VPS put her on cardizem for Afib since her regular cardiologist doesn't have privileges at the hospital here. He was her Dr up north. He hasnt seen her since Feb, she fell in April. Its been a nightmare, i cant think anymore. Hospice came in yest but thinks mom needs cardiologist to manage her heart meds, since no cardiologist comes to house i have to take to hospital. I don't kno what to do. The NP is doing blood work tomorrow morn. Then have to wait for results and time is wasting. How can I get her to eat n drink while waiting. Am I torturing her, is it worth all this to help her. I'm at my end too.
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Your mom has already used two different hospice companies at home? I don’t know of a hospice company that really provides a lot of hands on care in the home. Keeping a person hydrated & preventing UTI’s & bed sores is going to take someone being present pretty much full time, not just coming in once or twice a day.

I’m sorry your mom isn’t doing well & hope you can find the right help. I know it isn’t easy!
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