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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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She also looks after my dad who has Parkinson's. Myself and my sister take turns to stay. She gets extremely forgetful and calls people by wrong names. She also does not make sense sometimes when talking. She absolutely refuses to see a doctor.
Your mom could be experiencing a UTI, something that is extremely common in elderly women, and not necessarily related to hygiene, but by the physiological changes we experience with age. Often the only symptom they have is changes in cognition or behavior (including confusion).
If I were you, I'd use a "therapeutic fib" to get her to be seen: "Social security now requires an annual physical in order to authorize your payments" or, Medicare, or whatever you think will motivate her to go. Once there, discretely hand the staff a pre-written note outlining your concerns, what relationship you are to her and to check her for a UTI and give her a cognitive exam. They will be happy to do this. If she does have a UTI this is treatable with antibiotics but you must be on guard for future ones.
Once she is checked you have a starting point. If she has cognitive decline then her PoA needs to check the document to see what is required to activate their authority and begin to advocate for her, starting with securing all her sensitive financial information and helping her and your dad so that their daily lives aren't dangerous or chaotic. Whoever is the PoA for your dad will also need to do the same.
I'm not sure what you can do for your mother if she's unwilling to go to the doctor. If you are listed on her HIPAA form, maybe you can talk to the doctor about her situation. It could be stress-related or something much worse.
I'm sure there are others on the forum that will have better advice/suggestions.
It has to be stressful for you and your sister (and your mother and father too), Hope you find a solution to help your mom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If I were you, I'd use a "therapeutic fib" to get her to be seen: "Social security now requires an annual physical in order to authorize your payments" or, Medicare, or whatever you think will motivate her to go. Once there, discretely hand the staff a pre-written note outlining your concerns, what relationship you are to her and to check her for a UTI and give her a cognitive exam. They will be happy to do this. If she does have a UTI this is treatable with antibiotics but you must be on guard for future ones.
Once she is checked you have a starting point. If she has cognitive decline then her PoA needs to check the document to see what is required to activate their authority and begin to advocate for her, starting with securing all her sensitive financial information and helping her and your dad so that their daily lives aren't dangerous or chaotic. Whoever is the PoA for your dad will also need to do the same.
Does she allow your father to receive medical and nursing care?
I'm sure there are others on the forum that will have better advice/suggestions.
It has to be stressful for you and your sister (and your mother and father too), Hope you find a solution to help your mom.