If I write a general question about whether to place my mother in assisted living vs care for her at my home... lovely people will offer their advice but they really don’t know the prices here on Long Island! And also the quality of care in some of our places that they say they take great care of your loved ones, while really they do not! They just want your money!
I feel lost and alone and don't know what to do!
I visited her once and asked the SW if my MIL would be able to stay there once she had been a self pay for a certain amount of time should MIL use up all her resources and was told absolutely not. Once MIL’s money ran out she would be booted out to a Medicaid SNF. Nice.
MIL was there for 3 years and passed away in May @ age 96. She had almost nothing left & could have afforded less than one more year at AL/MC.
New York is ridiculously overpriced for AL/MC. Especially your area. There are not many options otherwise either - we couldn’t find many AL’s in Suffolk county and they all had similar exorbitant monthly fees.
A Place for Mom is a referral source. If you contact them they will ask for a financial assessment of assets of those seeking LTC and refer you to facilities near your home. They assist purely self pay individuals - No help will be given if the senior is on Medicaid. Medicare does not pay for LTC. APFM makes revenue from successful referrals. They will not drive you to the facilities but they will give your info out to local AL’s and you’ll receive a thousand pushy phone calls from those places and A Place for Mom.
Otherwise short of leaving the state (which is happening in droves now with New Yorkers fleeing south due to Covid & an increase in crime) you don’t have any other options on Long Island. New York ALF’s don’t take Medicaid waivers (which are rare in NY).
Our family has indeed been there, done that. The family writes the check each month from MIL resources or the resident is transferred out.
i am in a similar situation.
I live in Westchester County as do my parents, dad at 89 has Alzheimer’s and is in a rehab facility after a hip operation. We are trying to bring him
home but he needs 24/7 care. They live in a 1 bdrm apt, so unsure how this will work out. Mom 86 is still at their apartment in Yorktown five minutes from where I live, but it’s very difficult she wants me 24 seven, my three brothers try to help but not as much and it’s becoming difficult. Prices here are ridiculous. People just say to me put them in assisted-living for the care that my father needs assisted-living would be about $12k/month my parents do not have that kind of money.
Leave your Dad where he is & go to Social Worker & Medicaid office at the Rehab ..& have them help you apply for Medicaid/ long term care. Or you can see Elder law Atty to help you with nursing home application. Whatever you do, don’t take him home!!!
Hugs 🤗
Taking the care out of the equation for a moment. In all Assisted Living Communities what is included in your monthly rent is three meals a day restaurant style dining several options to choose from, housecleaning everyday, laundry, all activities, transportation within a 10-15 miles radius, wellness center for MD appointments, which are covered under personal medical insurance.
The cost again varies depending on lifestyle, geographic location, and most importantly care. Starting from $2500 to $13,000 or more depending on all these factors. One factor that is extremely important is the care. At that point you would want your loved one to be able to age in place. Believe it or not seniors go there to live, thrive, not die!
When realizing that a loved one might benefit from this type of environment it can become extremely confusing and overwhelming.
There are cheaper areas in LI, you may have to go further out
I also like the 'someone will drive you around' idea - b/c if you aren't familiar with Long Island, you can waste a lot of time going to places that aren't suitable - or on Long Island, you need someone who knows the traffic patterns, as you can get stuck in massive traffic. Locals know when/where to avoid at certain times of the day.
If your mom can get by with a few hours of care at home by all means keep her home. But if you are 'on call' 24/7 then you need assisted living.
They DO NOT drive you around to look at places. They are worse then a bad joke for anyone going through the placement of a family member.