I take care of his financial needs because he has medical issues, 3 kids, wife has passed, and he's a working dad. He takes time off for a special needs child and it really cuts his pay. So my retirement fund is almost gone. But after reading the pain and heartache my living with him might cause I think I should maybe just go travel to another country. At 66 I think I don't want him to see me less than whole. Reading this stuff makes me realize I'm probably already a pain in his butt. I'm a single old lady who talks too much.
I agree, you and son need to sit down and talk with no distractions. No kids interrupting. I know, that could be hard. Are there other grands that could babysit.
Your son may love having you around. Ur a woman's influence for the kids. You may find out that at this point it works. But you do need to think about your future. Son cannot care for you and 3 children too.
There's Medicaid homecare. Medicaid LTC. Where I live there are HUD apts that are pretty nice. They take 30% of your income as rent. All u pay is electric and TV. There are Senior buses. What I am saying is I think its great you are looking ahead. Always be open with son and tell him to be open for him. Does he miss work because of appts. Do you drive? If not, maybe you can use a Senior bus to take gchild to appts. Depending on the childrens ages they should be taught how to do things around the house.
But--you shouldn't be suffering financially so he can manage.
You're only 66? That's still young and you have many years still...
TALK to your son and see if this is working for him, what he would like to see, 2, 5 years down the road. The kids will grow up and leave, but I imagine they are fairly young still. Do you do a lot for them, care-wise, or does your own health prevent that?
If you feel you are a burden, you can look into 55+ housing that is gov't subsidized. A one bedroom apt would be all you'd need, and with health issues, you don't want the hassle of a large place. You can still work PT and retain benefits of subsidized housing--if you want.
It's really between you and your son. Sounds a little like he's taking advantage of you. Only you can make that decision.
now as far as moving out I think the person you should be discussing this with is your son you are probably a lot more help then hindering to him. My mother is 94 and lives with me and I wouldn’t have it any other way, are some days emotionally and physically demanding? Absolutely! But trust me when I say just knowing that I am doing for her all the things she so lovingly has done for me makes it All worth while. Now as far as the MS goes yes your condition may degenerate as time goes on but you may never have any new episodes/legions and stay as you are now and could actually improve. Spoken from experience as my brother had MS and went from initial diagnosis in wheelchair to walking sticks to cane and actually was walking totally on his own before he passed of heart failure. Bless you as you travel this journey and enjoy those grand babies.
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