I normally spend every day with my dad at his nursing home. He has stage 4 salivary gland cancer and is often in pain. I can see when he needs pain meds and request them for him. Now with the lockdown I am FaceTiming him and see he is suffering. Should I involve palliative/ hospice care to assist since the nursing home isn’t noticing? Under this care would I be allowed to visit him?
If that is the case and dad is not asking for them, the nurses can't give them. They need to given on a scheduled basis if dad can't or won't request (my mom would tell the nurse she was fine and then call one of us weeping in pain).
Don't bother trying to figure out the "why" of this, just have the pain meds given on a schedule.
If dad is on Hospice contact Hospice and see if you can visit.
The building that I volunteer in has their In Patient Unit and they have patients there and they are letting visitors in although it is limited to 3 and they must stay in the patients room. And visitors as well as staff must be screened when entering the building. And the CNA's and others are screened when they enter a facility to care for a patient.
Contact Hospice and see what they can arrange.
I would certainly consider professional palliative care for your dad at this time.
If he fits the criteria for hospice care then for sure he should be assessed. Whether this allows you entry is another issue. I would say not but my opinion isn’t the one that counts. Your dad’s doctor might be able to increase his medication or change the way it’s offered without the need of hospice. See if you can get through to the doctor.
After 13 years of seeing her every day, I am denied access to be with her.....
She has a private room and it's the last one at the end of the hall...
I could easily go in and close the door...
But instead, I have to wait until she's "actively dying". She'll be in a state of comatose, won't be able to talk to me, won't even know I'm there.. I'm her only daughter.
This is the cruelest thing they could have ever done to me....
I was to Skype with her yesterday, but it's not the same....
I have to wait until she's taking her last breaths, be able to touch her and hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her..
Heartbroken💔
By all means request a hospice assessment, though - I'm quite surprised he hasn't been offered this before? Meanwhile, call the nursing home, be polite, and bring your father's pain management to their attention. You may have to keep doing that, but if so do keep doing that. Be brief and be courteous. People think they know that the health and care sectors are under pressure, but in fact they haven't a clue. The nursing home may be trying to work out what they can use instead of catheter bags and incontinence pads, while unable to issue their staff with personal protective equipment. That's assuming that they still have all their staff, and haven't had to send many of them home to self-quarantine because they are pregnant, have older relatives, or are parents whose children who aren't at school.
The very worst aspect of the current emergency is the impact the turbulence and disruption are having on people with real, immediate care needs. It's incredibly upsetting and horribly stressful. Grit your teeth, hold on for a week or two, and let people get their contingency systems up and running. It *will* improve.
Does the nursing home have a Friends Of or volunteers' or families' group?
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