My mom is in assisted living. And I am also quite involved with helping with everything, with my husband pitching it at times as well.
This got me to thinking. What do people do if they don't have any children to help? I have 2 sons, but I am not sure either one would be willing to help out should I be in the same spot in 20 years. I love them both dearly, I just don't know if I can count on them.
But I also wonder about people who have no kids, or anyone else. What happens to them?
A person can appoint anyone they trust to be POA for Health, for Finances in most cases this would be a trusted friend or if they have no one it can be a lawyer that has drawn up POA.
This is why it is important to sit down with family and discuss what it is you want. Discuss where you keep important papers. Be open and honest. Appoint someone to be your voice when you have none.
Not an easy discussion to have but necessary.
Oh, an to make your son's lives easier...
Start getting rid of stuff now.
No one wants your cookie jar collection so sell, donate what you really don't want.
Make copies of family recipes so that they have them
Get rid of the clothes that are in the box in the attic.
In regards to your sons, this is a very important discussion to have with them sooner rather than later. They need to be asked if they are willing to be involved in their parents' care, not "assumed" into this responsibility. You may be trying to carry over a cultural value but your sons are another generation removed from that and may not share it. As you all age this discussion should be had every few years or when there's a significant change in health, finances, etc. or even if you don't live near each other. FYI it is nearly impossible for adult children or family to know what exactly is involved in caregiving, so they often agree to something that, if they only knew fully what it actually involved (and often the physical, mentl, emotional, financial cost), would never agree to do. Kudos to you for thinking ahead and being realistic about your sons' involvement.