I’m 22 stopped working/attending college to take care of my 91 year old grandpa. I can’t seem to get paid at all through any insurance.
We’ve tried the VA, his insurance GEHA, and through other businesses but none of them say I can paid through them. He also makes too much money to be placed on welfare for me to get paid. I’ve taken care of him for a whole year as of December 26. He pays me $200 out of guilt it seems because he’s openly told me he feels horrible that I stopped my life to take care of him. He’s my last grandparent and I had helped my mom with her parents when their time was running out so it’s just something i’m used to and I am ok doing it because they mean a lot to me. Is there any way I can possibly get paid through some type of company or business so that way he doesn’t have to pay me out of pocket anymore? I don’t like him giving me the money he worked so hard throughout his life to build up.
Me, I do not think it is wise for a 22 year old to put their future on hold to provide care. It is your grandfather's responsibility to arrange for his care, not yours.
You volunteer to give up your life to help for FREE thinking it's a noble thing to do. NO, it's not. It's a dumb thing to do.
Grandpa paid you $200 out of guilt. OMG. OMG. He expects you to work 24/7 for free. And so does everyone else. And so did you. You did this to yourself. So, you need to get yourself out of it. Stop being a doormat.
Grandpa can live another 5-10 years. When he's gone, you'll be in late 20s or early 30s with no job, no marketable skills, no money, no home. You'll be lost in more ways than one.
Go back to school. Get a part time job. Taking care of grandpa is the job for his children to sort out. They can take turn taking care of him or they can pay someone to do it.
Stand up for yourself. Tell his children that you're done. You're done putting your life on hold. . If they gripe, tell them it's their turn or they can hire caregivers to do the job they expect you to do for free. How dare them going about their lives and giving you dirty looks when you bought a pair of shoes out of the meager money grandpa paid you.
From this point on, you should know you're being taken advantage of. If you don't stop, then it's on you. You can't blame anyone else.
Yes, yes, YES he should be paying you!
More than $200 I might add.
It is NOT wrong of you to expect to be paid.
You WILL need the money, especially IF there are aunts and uncles who will absolutely want their share of the inheritance and will think NOTHING of cutting you out, even though YOU have done all the care giving.
You will be doing him as well as yourself a favor by making this more official and earning more money. Your grandfather may be fretting over this, feeling guilty, more than you realize and being able to pay you a decent wage will be a great relief for him. Save the money for school when you go back and he can feel good about contributing to that too, in fact maybe you could take some on-line classes or one or two classes a semester at school to keep your progress going, social contact with your peer group and some life outside of caring for granddad, my guess is this would make him very happy too, giving him the best of both worlds. You are so lucky to have each other but neither of you is served by only having the other.
We believe in you. Make your plan. Look up gray stone technique and other ways to free yourself from their attempts to push you back down. This is your chance.
You have opened up to us. We appreciate your honesty. And, we believe you can change your circumstances. We have seen others do it. You can, too. Keep posting here and make your escape plan.
See All Answers