walk. I’m feeling a lot of anxiety. I’m starting to get resentful. It’s going on 4 years since the stroke. I finally came to the realization that he’s not going to get any better. The doctors keep telling me that he’s not going to improve. The doctors took all my hope away. I’m still taking him to physical therapy. If I didn’t take him to therapy he wouldn’t get anything exercise. If I ask him to walk he gets angry.
Dose anyone know where I can get someone to help me . I can’t afford a whole lot. Thanks
It's now going on 4 years, so unfortunately that window has now closed, and you must accept that, as getting resentful and anxious will only make things worse for you both.
You must now learn how to just make the very best out of whatever your husband can still do and treat him with love and respect, the same way you'd want to be treated if the tables were reversed.
And if his care is getting to be too much for you then you may have to look into placing him in the appropriate facility.
My husband had a massive stroke back in 1996 at the age of 48, just a year and a half after we were married. He lost his ability to walk, talk, read, write and use his right arm/hand. With PT, OT and speech therapy he did learn how to walk with the help of a brace on his leg, and eventually could say a few words and very short sentences, but never learned how to read or write and never could use his right arm/hand.
Was it hard for me early on? Of course, but we both just learned to make the best of it, and to accept our "new normal." And that's what you must do, as life is just too short.
Perhaps you may have to get him a transport chair for when you're out and about so you don't have to worry about him falling. I used one of those with my husband for many years when my husband became a fall risk.
And you also may just have to let him sit in his chair and watch TV, if that's what he prefers, if that will keep the peace in your home.
My husband in his later years didn't want to leave the house as it was just too much for him and he was just content to sit in his chair and watch TV all day. And I had to be ok with that. Now that doesn't mean that I didn't go and do with my girlfriends, because I am a people person and like being out and about.
So make sure that you're taking time away to do things that you enjoy as that will certainly cut down on your stress levels and give you more patience to care for your husband.
My husband died in 2020 at the age 72, of vascular dementia, and I miss him every day, so please just enjoy whatever time you have left with him.
You might want to see if there is a stroke support group in your area as that would be helpful as well.
I wish you and your husband the very best as you both get used to your "new normal."
I am no expert on strokes but it kind of seems like 4 years is a pretty long time and that he probably isn't going to get any better, in general. Is the PT helping? I would make him keep going as long as the insurance continues to pay for it.
There is usually some kind of home health care agency around. They might be able to send you someone to help with PT, etc. There is often a minimum hours, like 3 or 4 to make it worth the caregiver coming to you.