My parents both have health issues and it is so hard to watch, especially since I am in the middle of a divorce, which I wonder every day if the issues in the marriage could have been fixed. Doesn't much matter as the divorce will soon be finalized. I dont have many friends and no siblings so the future seems incredibly scary when someone I thought would be by my side for all of life's ups and downs suddenly wont be. Not really a question, just looking for others who can relate, offer advice.
It is hard, but not impossible to rebuild your life after divorce. Therapy helps, developing new friendships is important too.
I am the only one to provide for me in my future, so I am doing what it takes to develop a new career.
I no longer miss my spouse, but there are things I miss about marriage. I miss the quiet evenings spent together, having someone to go out with, someone with whom to share my day. But I am much better off without my spouse. One day I may look for another partner, but not yet. I am too busy deciding what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I can’t speak to the divorce personally because I am married. I can speak to aging parents and being a caregiver. It is frightening and a challenge for anyone in many circumstances.
We don’t have many details to go on in your post and your profile is blank so it’s impossible to address any specific concerns that you may have.
I think the best advice that I could tell you at this point is to grieve your divorce. No one gets married thinking that they will one day be without that person at their side.
Most people get married with the dream of having a lifetime partner. This isn’t a reality for many people and people adjust and some remarry later in their life. So focus on rebuilding your life for you right now. You deserve that.
Concerning your parents I would say that I recently heard an interview where experts in elder care were saying to have ‘the talk’ with your parents about future care before they need care.
I must say that I think having a talk with parents about future care is very wise advice for everyone. I wish I had known or had been advised to do that. Instead I was thrown into caregiving while raising a family and married and it’s hard to juggle everything.
By the way, even those of us with siblings end up doing it all alone or worse, have interference from siblings which can complicate matters horribly. Plus having siblings allow for parents to pit siblings against each other and trust me, we end up wishing that we were only children!
So especially now, since you are already aware of future concerns go ahead and address issues with your parents and select a plan of suitable caregiving for them.
I must caution you about caring for parents in your home. It is extremely difficult and very often too hard to continue to do. It’s the same if you move in with them. It’s hard!
As someone who did caregiving in my home and found it too difficult in my circumstances I would not recommend it in most circumstances. There are alternatives such as assisted living facilities or nursing homes.
Best wishes to you.