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Ask your CPA. It's all very very complicated and individual.
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You need to be more specific. What type of deductions are you looking for? A good CPA can help you there.

Your ex? I think you have enough on your plate without worrying about your Ex. Your son will need to deal with thatbon his own. He could tell Dad he needs to go for a required Medicare physical to keep his insurance. Call Office of Aging to see if they can come to the home and evaluate Dad.
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irs deductions
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