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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Entitled, no. Negotiated, yes. Plans can always be reconsidered according to the circumstances. If all things considered are analyzed, possibly yes if both agree and the parent is competent and agrees. No one's opinion matters other than the two involved in an agreement.
My mother had a series of live-ins, companion care, and other help situations over time with no caregiving contracts. She was still competent and able and no one else had a say. If this had continued, she would now have no resources. When she made me poa, I saw her declining resources had to be managed more carefully and caregiving contracts were necessary so there would be no question over time. The bank manager recently commented that my mother wouldn't have been able to do this without me. Whatever 'estate' is remaining after costs of living and care will remain an accounting issue. Partly what I contributed is voluntary and by choice, because she is my mother.
I know of one brother who did caretaking for his sister regularly. When she passed, the sale of her home was split between several siblings. The brother gave his share to others more in need than himself. In another situation, I know of, the siblings compensated the caretaker sibling fairly after the mother passed. It's possible to not have conflict.
No is the ultimate answer to me. Entitled is a word I don't overall like. Living with a parent as caregiver is a choice. It is one that my own serious limitations wouldn't allow me to make. It is up to the person giving the gift of inheritance who they wish to leave things to. And their reasons should be their own. I DO think that it is always a mistake to move in with and care for an elder without a care contract done with the help of a lawyer. There are more costs than your time 24/7. But as I said, the choice to do it is a choice. One I would never make. I as well would never allow my own child to care for me in this manner, thus giving up his or her own life.
As the primary caregiver for my MIL, I recently had this conversation with my BIL who came to watch his mother to give us (husband and I) some desperately needed time away. He felt that we should get everything, not that it's a lot. But I saw infighting before in this situation and feel that it should be split 4 ways (3 living children and the children of the deceased child). Honestly, I don't want any of it but it should be done like this to prevent fighting. Just my opinion.
summahjoan, there is no rule that says that a grown child who is a caregiver for a parent should receive a larger slice of the estate. It would be up to your Mother to update her Will to make the changes, if she is still of sound mind.
If it is possible for your Mother to change the Will, don't be surprise is the sibling will grumble as too many times the siblings are clueless about what is all involved when it comes to caregiving. I hope your siblings are not that way, and see the value in what you are doing.
in my state there is a proviso where immediate family if a caregiver cannot be removed from the immediate family's house provided they lived there for 2 years prior to death. If you keep paying the bills, there is nothing the other siblings can do to force the sale I do not think they can charge you rent either. I do not think they can help themselves to the use of the place either. So, no, you don't get more, just get to remain in the family home until your death so there's that
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mother had a series of live-ins, companion care, and other help situations over time with no caregiving contracts. She was still competent and able and no one else had a say. If this had continued, she would now have no resources. When she made me poa, I saw her declining resources had to be managed more carefully and caregiving contracts were necessary so there would be no question over time. The bank manager recently commented that my mother wouldn't have been able to do this without me. Whatever 'estate' is remaining after costs of living and care will remain an accounting issue. Partly what I contributed is voluntary and by choice, because she is my mother.
I know of one brother who did caretaking for his sister regularly. When she passed, the sale of her home was split between several siblings. The brother gave his share to others more in need than himself. In another situation, I know of, the siblings compensated the caretaker sibling fairly after the mother passed.
It's possible to not have conflict.
I DO think that it is always a mistake to move in with and care for an elder without a care contract done with the help of a lawyer. There are more costs than your time 24/7. But as I said, the choice to do it is a choice. One I would never make.
I as well would never allow my own child to care for me in this manner, thus giving up his or her own life.
If it is possible for your Mother to change the Will, don't be surprise is the sibling will grumble as too many times the siblings are clueless about what is all involved when it comes to caregiving. I hope your siblings are not that way, and see the value in what you are doing.
If you keep paying the bills, there is nothing the other siblings can do to force the sale
I do not think they can charge you rent either.
I do not think they can help themselves to the use of the place either.
So, no, you don't get more, just get to remain in the family home until your death so there's that
Now, whether that's fair to the person doing all the caregiving is an entirely different discussion.