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My husband has cognitive decline and can no longer do most of the household chores. I have been taking up the slack as best as I can. He no longer drives so I do that as well as food shopping, medications, paying bills, laundry. I guess that makes me his very tired care giver. We always thought we would stay in our home which is in a 55+ community. Our house is on one floor and handicapped accessible. Now I am wondering how this will work for us, I am looking into in-home help for both of us. Any advise?

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Start with your Office of Aging to see what resourses are available to you. If you husband gets too much for you, he can be placed. You will need an Elder Lawyer to split what assets youbhave. His going towards his care and when almost gone you apply for medicaid for him. Once on Medicaid, you can remain in your home, have a car and get enough or all of your monthly income to live on.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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The questions here are of aging, aging in place or aging in care.
And with those questions come answers dependent in our country almost ENTIRELY on your assets.

You have to, if you go into care, know that the cost is onerous. And if you hire in help the same applies. Everyone is in the position you are in eventually/ultimately. Trying to figure out how much you have, and have saved, having to figure out if you can afford or even qualify for care, and if so how MUCH care and WHEN given the assets you have accumulated.

I think (I am 82) that you are not alone in assessments that now need to be made. For a while at least, you and hubby may be just fine with minimal assists with shopping and cleaning. But the time will come. My partner and I basically think all the time of one of us failing, requiring care, or going all together. And then decisions are all on the other, and made by the other.

No easy answers here, I am afraid. It is one day at a time. And at least you are considering the options. That's a positive thing, and realistic. Having said THAT, the old expression is that "Man plans and God laughs".

I wish you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Money will buy any kind of help that you need. But you may want to start ordering your groceries online and having them delivered, same with any medications.
And of course you can pay most bills online now, so that should help. And you can hire someone to come once a week to clean and even do your laundry if needed.
You just have to start looking for ways to work smarter and not harder.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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For now you can do things to make your life easier, you can have groceries delivered, and meds, Have a cleaning services come in once a week or every other week. There are lots of ways to make seniors life easier. You could get meals on Wheels, would give you a break on , cooking and clean up.

You say your looking for in home help for both, of you do you mean you both need help with physical needs?

I'm not sure your husband's needs, but you can call an Uber to get him to appointments, give you a break.
Which really sounds like you need a break.

There are caregiveing services that you can also get, they will do light house cleaning and errands for you, they are not cheap, though.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Help is always available in home by calling an agency or looking on Care.com. You can also go to the top of this page and tap Find Care and fill out the form. A representative of A Place For Mom will contact you.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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