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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Sometimes I can be very blunt. Not tip toe around what is happening with mom. Guess dealing with it daily, makes dementia seem normal. Sad.. How would you go about updating family members on health issues with family members that are live far away?
"Mom would rather I not share anything with anyone..." I think you have to respect her wishes. You also know that by giving information to that "one" who pushes back that you are going to get unwanted opinions. What people want is not always what they're entitled to get. If they want to know what is going on with your mother they should visit her and see for themselves.
Thank You for all your responses. JessieBelle, siblings are long distance, I do keep all family members informed online, when something major comes up. Usually get a lot of supportive words and Thank You. Barbrooklyn, there is always one that seems to give push back. "Not always the same one" Mostly one in particular. Cdnreader & Blainne, Some have personal experience, and others have no clue, or denial. Mom would rather I not share anything with anyone, out of respect to family members, I feel that I am obligated to share major changes. Not all the daily little things, If I was not living close, I know I would want the updates. I am doing well dealing with being moms caregiver. So far no burnout. Nor do I want empathy or sympathy from my siblings. The most difficult part is when they want me to take away meds, change diet, change respite help, you know dictating to me. It's an honor and pleasure for me to be able to be here for my mom. I thank you again. Guess I needed to vent...
I think it depends on how close you or your mom are to each family member. I told my cousin everything about mom because she had gone through something similar with her mom (mom's sister). We were a source of great support for each other. Other family members who weren't as close would just get a general "mom's having some memory issues" type statements with very general updates. I didn't need or want empathy or sympathy from them because they weren't there all of the time like my cousin was.
I'd write mom's Christmas letters and include a picture. Mom could no longer do that kind of thing. So I say it depends on your relationship with each member and also what your mom's style of "sharing" has been.
Sorry to hear about your mom's condition. I would try and protect your mom's privacy and maybe not go into too much detail. I have to agree with Jessie we can say the same thing but more gently using different words. When people asked me about my dad, I would say its a challenge, its a struggle, or he is really grumpy today, but not go into very specific details. Its good at least the family is interested and want to stay informed though.
I believe there is a site called "Caring Bridge". I've never used it; I just would send a group email to cousins about mom. All of my cousins had dealt with parents with dementia, so I was able to say things like "sadly, this summer, mom seems to believe that she has leprosy; we are dealing with this as best we can". They were always sympathetic.
Are you expecting "bad" advice or pushback from family if you post the naked truth?
What you could do is either use social media, e.g. Facebook, with a family group and pictures. Or you could use email with copies going to each family member you want to update. Both would be simple. I wouldn't be too blunt. There are usually more than one way to say things and get across the same message.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'd write mom's Christmas letters and include a picture. Mom could no longer do that kind of thing. So I say it depends on your relationship with each member and also what your mom's style of "sharing" has been.
Sorry to hear about your mom's condition. I would try and protect your mom's privacy and maybe not go into too much detail. I have to agree with Jessie we can say the same thing but more gently using different words. When people asked me about my dad, I would say its a challenge, its a struggle, or he is really grumpy today, but not go into very specific details. Its good at least the family is interested and want to stay informed though.
Are you expecting "bad" advice or pushback from family if you post the naked truth?