It has been 3 moths since my mother has died and I am an emotional mess. I cry at the drop of a hat with anyone I may be talking to. I walk thru the grocery store and see items I used to buy for her and feel sad or cry. I don't remember things that I have done a few months ago. Making decision is difficult. I am also handling packing, selling, donating items in my parents house and looking for a new home. I can't live in their home forever, we will sell it, but I feel sad at the thought of leaving this house. I don't remember being this messed up when my father died 3.5 years ago, but maybe I was. I just miss my mother so much.
You probably weren't like that after Dad's death because you had to worry about Mom. That's how it was for me.
There's no strict timeline to grieving, it's different for every person, but still being in an "emotional mess" after only three months I'd think is pretty much universal.
He was the most loving person in my world.
It happened 40 years ago, and I still feel that loss, and the loss of my grandpa, (Dad’s father) more keenly than any others I’ve encountered through my life.
My mom, disabled and in residential care, died at 95, and although we had built many sweet bridges in the last years of her life, her death was a release and Blessing.
I don’t think there’s really any way to “prepare” before an anticipated death, and even less if the death was unexpected.
I was an indescribable mess for 3 years when my father died, and in retrospect my husband and I assume that there were also 2 horrific periods of post parturition depression, including a one week (useless) hospitalization.
I wish I had had access to a grief support counselor and more sympathetic friends and a shrink who had training in “complex grief”, but I didn’t.
There are some guidelines for grief, but no “rules”. Look for someone who will let you talk out everything you feel. Your feelings are normal.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Prayers and Blessings.