For the past several years that Mom has been in memory care, I have brought her home on Christmas Eve to spent 2 nights with us. It has always gone well and she enjoys it. However, she has become more incontinent and not as steady on her feet (uses a walker). Additionally, there is the Covid concern. I work every other day at the office, my daughter waitresses at a restaurant, and my son is out of work just now, but does our errands and shopping. Is this too much exposure? Presently we have not been able to visit her in her facility since mid-November - and even then we had to be masked and 6 feet away with no touching. I know she will be horribly disappointed and depressed if she can't come home, but I don't want to put her health or well being in danger.
Last year, since my mother is wheelchair bound and leery about going out in general, we brought Christmas dinner to her and ate together in the library at the MC; it was a feast. We brought gifts too. We can't do that this year, obviously, nor can we bring her home because of various reasons. She'd hate the 14 day quarantine upon return, so it's not something we're even discussing.
You're better off having your mother 'horribly disappointed and depressed' than have her health & well being put into danger, in my opinion. Also consider, she may NOT be 'horribly disappointed OR depressed'...............play things DOWN this year, as I am, because Christmas is one day only, where way way WAY too much importance is placed upon..........and it becomes a disappointment for everyone in general. Schedule a Zoom visit instead. Send her an Edible Arrangement (if they have a shop in your area); send her Royal Rivera Pears. A nightgown & matching robe. A big box of her favorite chocolates. In other words, make the day special for her ANYWAY, even though she won't be coming to your house.
Good luck to you.
So, you guessed it on Monday we got the "Positive" test results. The good news is at 83 she has no symptoms, but she has had to remain here since then. The second test was performed yesterday, no results yet, but likely to still be positive for some time to come. The clinic where she was tested says she should be able to go back now positive or not due to no longer being considered contagious. The problem of course is that she doesn't want to go back and is terribly emotionally upset. This is not going to be fun and I do not think it was worth bringing her out.
That is my situation, of course if your mom likes her living arrangement then you may not have this issue.
By the way neither my husband or I have developed symptoms during the time she has been here. I am doing most all the hands on caregiving and am feeling fine although rather "trapped." I am quite certain, given the short time frame, that she came here from her facility already infected. She may even have already been passed the contagious period. It's something of a mess and I am not sure how it will be resolved. I hope whatever you decide it will be a good outcome for you and your mom and family.
What an ordeal! So sorry...
Hoping your mom will continue to improve.
If you and your family are willing to quarantine for 2 weeks before bringing your Mom home she might be safe. Is it really worth the risk to your Mom?
Plus when you take her back she will probably be isolated for several weeks to protect the other residents. That is more of a hardship to dementia elders.
If she is with it enough to decide for herself (while being in memory care kind of indicates that perhaps she is not capable), then if she REALLY wants to come. home and understands the risk and understands how tough those 2 weeks will be, then I don't have a problem with it.
Your hands will also be super full with dealing with her new issues, though it is "only" for 2 days. I think it'd be a long 2 days.
I know for Thanksgiving many elderly people said something like "if this is my last one, I don't want to spend it alone". Definitely has some validity.
Tough choice for you to make.
It sounds like your mom’s facility has been extra cautious regarding COVID-19 which is wonderful.
You can do a special Christmas celebration with her at a later date.
It will mean just as much to her at that point in time.
Meanwhile, she will be with you in spirit as you celebrate Christmas with your family.
Everyone is struggling with these decisions these days. It’s not a ‘normal’ holiday season.
Do your best to enjoy Christmas with your immediate family.
Because of work schedules, we often had to celebrate holidays on days other than the actual date of the holiday. The date didn't matter; it was being able to get together with family that made the holiday. We still do "second Christmas" with my sister and her family after December 25; one year because of snowstorm after snowstorm we weren't able to actually have "second Christmas" until March!!