Mom is 91 and lives by herself (well, and her dog). She has a cleaning lady twice a month and someone who helps her with groceries. She pays for them which runs about $400 a month. I pay for a dog walker to come 3 times a week (also serves to have eyes on mom). Additionally, we are lucky to have family, friends, and neighbors that generously visit with her and drive her to doctor's appointments. I am her only daughter and live 1,800 miles away. I estimate I spend about $10,000 a year on her and her household: internet, cell phone, life line, dog walking, landscaping, plane tickets, geriatric safety devices, etc etc. She wants to stay in her home but I know she could use what really amounts to more supervision. I've been reaching out to various organizations and inquiring about any sort of subsidized program but all I get is a list of services that will cost $40/hour. I can't afford another $8,400 a year for someone to visit with her for 4 hours a week. I need to fund my own retirement! It's very frustrating when people ask me why I don't just "get someone". I have no idea what I will do if she needs to be in a wheelchair! I guess I always thought that this country would take care of its elders... but there doesn't seem to be any help offered unless the person has less than $1,800 in assets. Are there any solutions that don't involve selling your house or being impoverished? One would think at 91 there would be something!
If she can't take care of her dog (which would include paying for a dogwalker), then she shouldn't have a dog.
You mention you're her only daughter. Are you her only child?
What are your mother's finances? Why isn't she paying for her own expenses?
The network of family, friends, and neighbors who look in on her could fall apart if/when she needs more supervision and help.
Why are you spending YOUR funds on this?
If mom wants to "stay at home", she needs to fund that, not you.
What are her finances like? Have you looked at Assisted Living places? Have you talked to an eldercare attorney about accessing Medicaid ?