I have posted before about momma. She has NPH and some dementia that we know of. Suffered a hemotoma a little over a year. She is in assisted living on lock down - which is hard for her. Just turned 86. But I just had my uncle call me and asked me if I have mental problems? He said that momma called him and said so? WTH!! He said that she said we can't do this and we cannot do that. I don't know if she was talking about me or her but hello people we are in the middle of this virus thing! If anybody has mental problems it is her. I think she has a personality disorder and I believe that my dad knew that something was going on all these years and he covered for her. Either narcesstic or borderline. I am her primary caregiver with no help for nine years now. She uses me as her own whipping post. Did the same thing to my dad. He has been gone for nine years. She has a golden child. It is not me. I am the one that gets blamed and shamed. I know nothing about nothing but believes everybody else when told the same thing. Does not believe me. I just recently requested the facility to have a talk therapy lady to come visit momma on a regular basis to see if it would take the pressure off of me. That way momma would have somebody that she could talk too about her kids sex lives, finances, her half sister and how she was brought up, her constant complaining about either the food, her laundry, how they clean her bathroom, vacaum in front of her couch and make her bed from housekeeping, her independence and how I have taken everything away from her and I mean everything!! Now yes I am stressed and tired. It has affected my health since I have been doing all of this from a different state and no she will not move and I don't want her over here. Sorry about that but true. I joined a caregivers meeting, go to the gym and come to this forum for help but it just seems to be getting worse for her which is probably normal but I feel like I have been beaten up so many times. The talk therapy lady said she upped momma's zoloft from 100 mg to 150 mg and cannot go any higher because of her age. At one time she was on 40 mg when she lived at her house but was not taking it correctly. She is also on an anxiety medicine and other prescriptions for BP and seizures. This is not the first time she has gone behind my back and tells family and friends all about me and what I am trying to do to her but when other people talk to her they say your momma is sweet as pie. I do not get that version of her. I have been talking to her more because of the virus but I am going to back off and see if the talk therapy lady can help her. Probably want do any good. She is going to be this way but I am so tired of it.
Uncle. Mom has dementia. Her thinking is effected. It's hard for her.
Mom. She is blessed you are her best advocate in getting the talk therapy & meds she needs. She's also blessed if you spend time with her (phone or visit, when allowed). Aim for a frequency level that is self-protective. YOU matter!
Some people get over-connected & swamped by their relative's issues. Some get so resentful, hurt, abused they walk away for good.
For me, I'm trying the middle ground of being an advocate & a friendly visitor. I hope you can find your own level.
There's not much you can do about her talking badly about you. "Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...".