She expects slaves, not care givers and when she is unhappy she yells at staff and gets other residents worked up.
She has always been a little princess all of her life and everyone is out to make her life miserable. For instance, when I said "no" to her for the first time in my life (around 1987) she did not talk to me for 8 years. When she was healthy and had her own home, she would always complain that the neighbors would send their cat into her yard to mess it up, etc... She made staff upset at her assisted living place for 5 years and I had to put out all kinds of "mom fires" to keep her there. Now that she is in the nursing home, I was really hoping the fresh start would help, but even after 4 months they are starting to talk about kicking her out. I don't know what I would do with her then. She is mentally very sharp, she just can't physically get around. We have asked the nursing home doctors if there was some "happy" pills that can given to mom so the staff can take care of her without being verbally abused. She is already on an ant depression drug.
The big problem is, when mother does have a real problem (theft, pain, etc..), I don't know when she is crying wolf or not.
I could really use help.
Thanks
Do not be embarrassed. Be extra nice to the caregivers, know their names and their children's names....try to get some nice karma for your mom. Hold them to the expectation that they will deal with her professionally. Be very nice to the administration, Ignore the "thoughts" of kicking her out.....do not encourage it....go from there. Mom won't be happy anywhere, so that cannot be your goal. Your goal is a safe and professional environment for her.
the home was corrupted for taking her and all they thought about was money.
She had no need to go there and the authorities had never heard what my mum had done.
Your last post hummingbird infered I did not know about my mum's living arrangements. I found it extremely offensive.
the scheme manager where she actually lived in sheltered housing was receiving phone calls from the home. asking if she would talk to my mum.
I know about care. I have have worked with vunerable people in the past.
I do know where my mum actually lived. I will never understand why she deserted her family and friends. if she had been at home in sheltered housing the scheme manager would have phoned her gp.
I would have known immediately. She was at the residential home for no reason . They flatly refused to call a doctor and said so what . and wondered why I barred them from the hospital and the funeral. Her GP and Consultant were disgusted she was not at home with carers.
She would spend 3 days a week at home then 2 days at the home or vice versa.
1 month at home then 1 month at the home.
And they let her do it. When I got her to hospital the home accused us of interfering. She was in a filthy state.
She would have been better off at home with carers. and maybe daycare at a decent care home. and still bothering with her friends and family. And when she took ill cleaner. and the scheme manager would have called her gp then I would have been phoned immediately instead of 9 hours after she took ill.
I told the place she stay what I thought of them.
I agree with you, the only thing for a person our age to do is to learn from what we see around us and get our wishes down in black and white.
On the other hand, we can't be certain of how we'll feel about getting old until we get there. One of the great and good was asked by a reporter how it felt to turn ninety. His answer? "Better than the alternative."
So I think I will see if I can also arrange a few loopholes! x
However I am 49 so still a way to go for me.