Dad is 82, never done arts and crafts in his life, have no hobbies,don't read books. Working,women,and drinking was his pass time,now that he is living with me,none of that is happening,he has memory issues,mild dementia.when I suggest something he don't want to do it or complain,Some days we just stay home,I don't mind staying home since I work at home doing childcare,17ys,on vac right now,but going to start again soon.I don"t know what to do with him,just wondering what you guys think,should I just leave it alone and stop driving myself crazy.
Mom's been living with us about a year and only wants to watch tv. (Or go to movies and eat out, which can strain my budget.) Games, sewing, knitting, coloring, crochet, computer stuff - none of it interests her. Part of me thinks she's just tired - she worked a lot before her stroke and took care of Dad for three years while he was fighting cancer. Sometimes she says she wants to do something - finish a quilt or make something - but she doesn't do it.
I've finally reached a compromise where I plan two to three things a week - a visit with the Grandkids, movie and lunch, a visit to a beach or park - and then that's my limit. Since I'm always at home with her (I work at home) I really can't do much more. The rest of the time she watches tv and sometimes gets on the computer. It seems she is Googling more things, like various factoids that come up when we are watching tv. (I think she got tired of me saying, "I don't know. You could Google it" whenever she commented on how things are, etc.)
I like sunflo2's senior center suggestion and might try that.
She and I did talk to the doctor about this and the doctor increased Mom's depression medicine to see if that changes things. Mom doesn't think it is an issue. There is a possibility for Mom that the stroke is causing this behavior (loss of initiative). So we'll see.
Does he like tv? Can he still follow some shows? Would he enjoy a magazine with lots of pictures? There are magazines on every conceivable subject -- WWII, motorcylces, sports cars, baseball, bowling -- you name it, you can find a magazine about it!
If he didn't build a foundation of an interest in a variety of things in his earlier years, it isn't really your responsibility to entertain him now. This is a case of as you sew, you reap. He didn't sew the seeds of an interesting old age and now he is reaping boredom. Not your problem, really. If you can get him to do some chores and provide him with shows or magazines, great. But don't make yourself crazy over it.
Maybe enlist him in some helpful chores during the day if he is open; simple stuff like sweeping porch, maybe reading a story to some of your kids.
Other option, is to maybe visit your local senior center together and while you are there, sit down (you and him) with a group and play cards, game or just have lunch there with group of others. Show some interest, lay the ground work, etc. Maybe he will agree to go a couple mornings a week as a "trial". He might hit it off with someone talking about the war or cars, etc.
Sign him up (if he is able) to go on one of their day trips or outings (sometimes they go to lunch, shopping, a movie, sightseeing, etc.) as a senior group.
If he refuses, like my mom; then nothing you can do. It seems they lose their confidence as they age and increasingly don't want to venture out of their comfort zone unless you accompany them. Tough. "not easy when they want you to be their whole world and entertainment". I do what I can; but live long distance and no longer push or make suggestions. She seems content to just sit alone in her house all day.